In 1998 we were fresh off an airplane from Germany where my husband was stationed for 3 years. Coming back to the states, we had 1 car, no job, 2 kiddos, 11 suitcases, a dog, a cat and no clue.

My husband's first gig out of the military took us to North Carolina. I was a stay at home mom for many reasons, not the least of which was being a single car family.

It wasn’t long before I started looking for something to do to get me out of the house. It had to be within walking distance, a place where if I needed to I could bring the little ones and it needed to challenge me. So I started looking at gyms in the area.

Most were too far away. But I stumbled on a new little Tae Kwon Do school next to the laundromat a few blocks from the apartment. I called and no one answered. So I let it go thinking that a 25 year old woman had no business learning martial arts. But they called me back! I was shocked because I hadn’t left a message.

I’m so grateful I answered that call.

I’ll never forget showing up in my cut off jean shorts and Master Singh asking “Where’s the kid?” I had to explain that this was for me and I’d think about bringing “the kid”.

I fell in love with movement that day. The fluidity, the intention and the connection behind even the simplest block and kick. Practicing Tae Kwon Do helped me step into my power. I couldn’t get enough. I was at that school every day and I did bring ”the kid”! It was a bonus that we could do it together.

It wasn’t long before Tae Bo hit the fitness scene and all the martial arts schools wanted to offer something like it. Master Singh asked me to get certified to teach cardio kickboxing. How could I say no?

And that was the beginning.

What started as a hobby, fairly quickly turned serious as I realized that I needed more education in order to be able to serve my students and answer questions beyond “How do you do a front kick?”

Like many, if not most, fitness professionals, I became a certification collector over the next 25 years, trying to establish a certain level of professionalism in myself so that I could expand my scope and build up my experience. I got my Personal Trainer cert. first and then went to all kinds of fitness conferences to get class ideas. I pursued my 1st and 2nd degree black belt. Then Group fitness certification, 200RYT to balance out the hardcore stuff, Health Coach and Fitness Nutrition specialist.

I said yes to every opportunity to teach in order to pay for the continuing education, memberships and insurance that was required to maintain the certifications I needed to be able to call myself a fitness professional and get paid to teach.

I didn’t see this as a problem. After all I was young & strong and my self care included marathon training and long distance cycling through the corn fields of Iowa.

What could possibly go wrong?

On the surface I was killing it!

I led popular classes with wait lists, I had made myself invaluable to the studios and gyms where I worked because I subbed all the time. I could teach almost any format as well as work one on one with clients.

I had a dream job. But behind the high energy smile I was dying inside. I was developing chronic overuse injuries in my shoulders and knees. I had constant gut pain that disrupted my eating pattern and hormone levels. I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and low levels of depression that I covered with caffeine and energy supplements. I lived for years in that state.

There were so many symptoms that seemed completely unrelated that I didn’t even know where to start to fix it. Doctors seemed stumped by the cause but more than happy to prescribe things.

But I knew there was a better way to live. I knew that there had to be a way to feel better in my own skin AND be able to continue my career.

That’s when I discovered trauma release. First through Yogafit for Warriors training and then directly from the source, David Berceli’s Trauma Release Exercise (TRE®). I became a certified provider in 2020. (Yes, I know ANOTHER certification!) But I’m so glad I did because it gave me a deeper understanding of how the nervous system affects everything we do and everything we feel in the body.

Here was a way to work WITH my body without drugs or supplements or pain killers. A way to release tension way that didn’t require reliving a story . Here was something that put me back in the drivers seat of my own health.

The Holy Grail of health!

I was hooked. But here’s the thing…

Even this is “one more thing”. It’s a beautiful thing but it’s not the only thing.

What I’ve learned is that there’s little bit of truth in many modalities. It’s the deeper, connected understanding of how to access the nervous system through the body for better results, recovery, immunity…everything we think of as health and wellness.

This is an understanding that’s missing in every other certification I’ve ever encountered. It’s an understanding that if fitness professionals were more aware, we would be better able to hold space for ourselves and our clients, fully recover from all the crazy shit we do and model true health and wellness for a long, fulfilling and sustainable career.

I stand before you as a resilience coach and entrepreneur with a curated certification and antique collection. Highly caffeinated and unapologetic menopausal mother of millennials and one fur baby. Recovering perfectionist and refugee of the body brand nation with wisdom to share.

I know what it feels like to be collapsed, suffering and exhausted. Unsure if you’re going to make it through the next class let alone the next week. Feeling trapped because this is what you do. This is who you are.

I’m so grateful for all the people and experiences that have helped shape my career in the fitness industry. (even the crappy ones that knocked me sideways)