Mystery muscle: The door to the pelvic floor
It’s no wonder that in a society that hyper sexualizes women in the same breath that it shames them for fully embodied sexuality that we can’t even see, feel or touch ourselves with any kind of love, pleasure or desire.
- Ericka Thomas
Transcript
Mystery muscle: the door to the pelvic floor
If ever there was a riddle wrapped in an enigma shrouded in mystery in the body it’s the pelvic floor. Both men and women have pelvic floor muscles and both experience dysfunction but for today we’re just talking to the ladies. If you are listening to this where little ones are present we are going to talk about s-e-x and things of that nature so if you aren’t ready to do that explaining you might want to put the earbuds in. Fair warning.
I teach a lot of core focused classes and a lot of my cueing in yoga naturally centers around the core as well. The muscles of the pelvic floor are integral to that equation. I get a lot of questions about the pelvic floor. Usually in hushed voices at the end of class like it’s a shameful secret.
That makes sense because we’re conditioned to be ashamed of pretty much all the natural functions of our bodies in general. But especially this area the bathroom muscles and (shhh) bedroom muscles. Anatomically, the pelvic floor is a web of muscles woven through and around the most intimate vulnerable parts of the body. At best it’s misunderstood at worst it’s tangled up in a mess of sexual shame and trauma history. Especially for women. Today we’re going to demystify the pelvic floor and open the door for women to reclaim a sense of trust and reverence for this part of themselves.
We’re only talking about women today because I am a woman and I have some experience in the mind-body connection. I am NOT (and this is my disclaimer) a pelvic floor specialist, physical therapist or a doctor. I do work with the body and through the body in trauma release and I see a lot of the results of ripple effects of physical and sexual trauma. And I am a woman of some wisdom with her own history that I can share with you.
Pelvic floor dysfunction is a hush hush no go topic. Kind of like sex, religion and politics. Interestingly one could relate PD to all of those if you wanted to. We’re not going to today except for maybe just this one point that if we actually had real sex education this might not become the problem that it is. There’s a pervasive cultural cognitive dissonance rooted in shame when you teach girls that all things sexual in nature including self exploration and pleasure are dangerous, sinful, shameful and potentially deadly and then ask women to flip a switch and fully enjoy any kind of sexually fulfilling relationship.
And it doesn’t help when that is reinforced by a lack of respect for the female experience in medicine. When it’s ok for doctors in the name of women’s health to shove this up there, poke this and scrape that and you don’t need that we’ll just cut that out. It’s no wonder that in a society that hyper sexualizes women in the same breath that it shames them for fully embodied sexuality but we can’t even see, feel or touch ourselves with any kind of love, pleasure or desire.
Wait, why are you talking about all this sex stuff? I thought this was about the pelvic floor
It is and we are.
Let's be honest. Most of us avoid and ignore the pelvic floor for most of our lives. Until of course we have no other choice as in pregnancy, childbirth, sex or when the weirdness starts. You know what I’m talking about. Those embarrassing symptoms like peeing when you jump, sneeze, laugh, or stand up. Symptoms like pain during sex, incontinence, vaginal dryness, lack of libido, inability to orgasm and pelvic organ prolapse. It sucks when you can’t trust your body to take care of you like it used to. It also sucks when you’re told there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s just because you’re getting old. Or if you really can’t stand it let’s medicate you, lubricate you or carve you up. That’ll fix it.
Side bar: there are some HRT out there now that can help with some of these symptoms but they don’t really correct the underlying issue in many cases which is in the muscle itself.
The door to the pelvic floor is the vagina. For women you can’t really discuss the pelvic floor without the vagina because in women the vagina goes through that web of pelvic floor muscles. The vagina itself is a muscle. And because it’s a muscle like every other muscle and like every other muscle in real life there’s no such thing as true isolation. We can apply some basic principles for muscular health and get big results.
So let’s talk basic principles of muscle health.
1. When you use a muscle regularly it will adapt to what you’re asking it to do.
2. Everytime a muscle contracts and relaxes it requires circulation and in the body it’s actual movement through muscle contraction that assists in the circulation of lymph throughout the body.
3.The stronger a muscle is, the more circulation it has. The more circulation it has the more neural receptors are online and the more lubrication is available to that area of the body.
4. A tight muscle is not the same as a string muscle. Tightness usually indicates instability somewhere.
5. When a muscle stays tight for too long it will shut down the neural communication and you lose contractility.
6. If you stop using a muscle for a length of time it will start to atrophy. Atrophy means that the muscle fibers lose contractile strength, power, endurance, flexibility, stability and mobility.
Now specifically about the pelvic floor. The pelvic floor muscles consist of a group of muscles from the tailbone to the pubic bone. The Levator Ani is made up of 3 muscles connected by ligaments and wraps around the entire pelvis. And the coccygeous which is smaller and to the back of the pelvis. They form the base of support for your core. It is both literally and energetically the base of support and foundation for the rest of the body. I think of this group of muscles like a keystone in a bridge from the left and right side of the body and front and back..
When we talk about contracting the pelvic floor for the most part we’re talking about the Levator Ani. And in females the urethra, vagina and anus pass through that web of muscle. At the entrance of each of these is a sphincter that gives you control of what comes out of you and what goes in.
So much of the conversation around pelvic floor health is centered on building strength. Do your kegels girls! And what ends up happening is a bunch of tight ass women running around clenching those sphincters indiscriminately. This is a problem for several reasons.
Why Kegel’s don’t work
It's not always weakness in the muscle that is the problem. Sometimes it’s a lack of sensation caused by too much random clenching. Clamp down on any muscle too much for too long and eventually it’ll give up on you. (how old are you again?)
What do you do when you have a tight muscle anywhere else in the body? What helps? Massage. Touch. And the first thing we need to get over if we’re going to help ourselves is the shame in self touch, self compassion and self pleasure. Lack of sensation or numbness can make it difficult to make anything happen in a muscle no matter where it is but especially in the vagina. One way to start to recover sensation is through Yoni Massage.
One of the hallmarks of an empty nest for me was the realization that I had lost touch all of the things that used to bring me joy. Part of the process of excavating them was to literally get back in touch with myself.
Get yourself a natural massage oil like organic coconut oil and treat yourself to a gentle self massage. Just like in any other muscle, massage in and around the pelvic floor can help relax tension out of those muscles. You’ll feel the tight spots. This doesn’t have to be sexual in nature but it’s ok if it feels like pleasure. It should.
This goes beyond the pelvic floor. If you can’t feel pleasure in your body, how can you feel pleasure anywhere else? If you don’t know what makes you feel good how can anyone else please you? If you don’t know what you desire physically, how can you go after what you desire in any other part of your life?
One of the main reasons kegels aren’t effective is because most people don’t use any resistance with them. It makes no sense. If I want stronger bicep muscles. I can flex my arm all day long and if I never pick up a weight nothings gonna happen, except maybe tendonitis in my elbow. That’s basically what we’re trying to do with kegels.
Pelvic floor muscles are no different.
How do you add resistance? For women you can go through the vagina. I prefer the Jade Egg But you could also use your fingers. I learned some of this from a coach named Kim Anami and some from my own study of different styles of yoga. She’s the go to expert on this stuff for both men and women. So definitely you need to check out her courses.
I started doing kegels after my second baby. That was the prescription to “recover” from childbirth. Now granted back then doctors had done a pretty good job at erasing women's wisdom from obstetrics and gynecology. But what I know now and what I wish I’d known then was that there are 3 phases of regeneration and metamorphosis in a woman's life, physically, emotionally, energetically and spiritually. One of those times is postpartum when you transition into motherhood. That postpartum time should be sacred and it’s longer than 6 weeks. If you are allowed to actually rest and heal and receive care for yourself, for the work of creating an entirely new human being, it can be transformative. How we are tended to after childbirth dictates our pelvic health in menopause. If you’ve had a child or 2 think back to that time for yourself.
I got a pat on the head, an ice pack, and a “ do your kegels and no sex for six weeks lecture” and I was out the door back on my feet almost immediately. Seriously if this is the way we treat women is it any wonder at the eye rolls when we talk about self care?
Fast forward 25 years and I started noticing the sneeze and pee and that got my attention. I also had crazy pelvic floor muscle cramps. Super painful. I was concerned because I am a pretty fit person. The only thing that had changed for me was my natural hormone levels. And I did my kegels so WTF!
Ah but now I know. Now I understand. The original Dr. Kegel actually used a device (that is still used today) that is inserted into the vagina to measure the strength of contraction and strengthen the pelvic floor. (manometer)But no one tells you that. That part gets overlooked because there was too much moral judgment and shame around actually touching the vagina. God forbid you actually feel anything pleasurable.
So you can do kegels all day long and just like a biceps curl without a dumbbell it’s not going to help.
To get resistance you can use a Jade egg. Jade egg is smooth piece of jade in the shape of an egg with a hole drilled in the small end. They come in different sizes. You thread a piece of natural fiber string like cotton or silk through the hole and tie a knot leaving a long tail. So you can keep a hold of it.
The vagina is a tube of highly innervated, highly permeable (which is why you need to be careful what you put in there) smooth muscle. 2 layers actually. It’s not really meant to just lay there and take it. You can learn to contract and relax and articulate the entire length of the vagina.
To use the jade egg, after yoni massage when you are relaxed, gently insert the wide end of the egg in the vagina. If you can’t feel it or you have a lot of numbness, try to insert a finger next to the egg to the middle area of the vagina and keep it there during the contraction so you can feel what's happening. (This is kind of the problem with the manometer. It’s something else doing the reading, instead of you learning you.)
Holding and gently pulling the end of the string, exhale and contract the vagina against the pull of the string. Release the contraction on the inhale. Repeat 10-15 times or until you’re too tired. You can move the egg to the opening of the vagina and contract the sphincter and deeper as well but the process is the same. Connect the contraction with the exhale.
And like I said the absolute expert on this is Kim Anami, if you want a more detailed explanation you should go to her.
My job is simply to share the information as I learn it. When it comes to the muscles of the pelvic floor there’s really no way to isolate them away from the genitals. That’s why I think it’s so confusing for women to really connect strengthening the pelvic floor all by itself. Because it doesn’t really happen all by itself. When you strengthen the vagina your pelvic floor strengthens. They are beautifully interconnected. And it doesn’t matter how old you are or what your postpartum care was like or even if you’ve already had pelvic organ prolapse and related surgery you can still recover, repair and reconnect to your mystery muscles both physically and energetically.
I’m working on a new online course in the background that connects the dots for women of wisdom like you and me. It will include natural ways to balance hormones, ease anxiety and depression, demystify the pelvic floor, and re-sanctify sensuality. A menopause makeover if you will. If you’d like to be the first to know shoot me an email at info@savagegracecoaching.com with the word demystify in the subject heading. I’ll add you to my wait list.
Thanks for listening! I’ll see you next time on The Work IN.
Hey there!
I’m your host Ericka Thomas. I'm a resilience coach and fit-preneur offering an authentic, actionable realistic approach to personal and professional balance for coaches in any format.
Savage Grace Coaching is all about bringing resilience and burnout recovery. Especially for overwhelmed entrepreneurs, creators and coaches in the fitness industry.
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