Dry January: Giving up gray area drinking with Krysty Krywko
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Krysty’s Links:
What If? Exploring Your Relationship w/ Alcohol
IG: @purpledogsober
Clarity Collaboration Coaching
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I work with so many women who read labels on everything they eat, you know, are very cognizant of sugar of all what they're putting in their body gluten but they're not looking at what alcohol is and what it's doing to them, you know, Mind Body Soul. And I think it's just an important conversation to have and to create these spaces. But there's no shame, there's no judgment, you're just being curious about a substance you're putting in your body and that's really all it is.
- Krysty Krywko, Founder Purple Dog Sober
Transcript
Gray Drinking Transcript
Ericka Thomas 0:03
Today I have a very special guest with us. Her name is Krysty Krywko. She's a coach, educator writer, mixed media creator and the founder of purple dogs sober. She, like so many other Genex moms, myself included, has spent years as a card carrying member of the socially acceptable mommy wine culture until she took a chance on feeling better and gave it up for 30 days and then forever. What sets her apart from other sobriety coaches is the uniquely creative tools she uses to help her clients. So let's start our work in today with Krysty Krywko and purple dog silver. Hey, Krysty, thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. Ericka, I'm
Krysty Krywko 0:48
excited to be here.
Ericka Thomas 0:49
Tell us a little bit about yourself. Just give us a quick introduction. And I'd love to hear a little more about what makes makes purple dog sober so unique. away
Krysty Krywko 0:59
so I am yeah I'm work as a sobriety coach. I you know, my background is in teaching and coaching. But I've done that my whole life. And I guess you know, I just have such a I don't wanna say passion because that's overused so much but I really just have this mission just to help women realize that there is a life beyond Yeah, that might be one culture that sitting on the couch every night with a glass or two of wine and just sort of get stuck in that space. I was stuck in that space for a long time. And, you know, I think it really held me back from a lot of a lot of areas in my life and here I am in my mid 50s and just really reconnecting with myself and my family and my kids and my community and all those things. That's,
Ericka Thomas 1:54
that's, that's awesome. Okay, so let's, um, let's dive in because this is a big, this is a big topic, health wise in general like and then specifically for individuals. So there's a term that I've been hearing more and more about and that is gray drinking. So can we just start with kind of a, an explanation of what that means? And maybe how that's different than what we think of as alcoholism? Yes, absolutely. So
Krysty Krywko 2:29
it's a gray area drinking and it's a spectrum and it really alcoholism. The word alcohol alcoholism is no data term. It's alcohol use disorder is what people call it now, but it's still very much portrayed in the media as you know what an alcoholic looks like, what they're supposed to behave like how they act like what their family life looks like. Like all these things are so stereotypical that people get lost because they look at me in the mirror. You know, maybe they're they're high functioning. No, they got a job there, marry their kids are dressed and fed and clothed, but they're drinking a lot of wine to keep it all together. So that's where that idea of gray area drinking comes from. It's an it's that spectrum of that person who hardly drinks to the far end, who is like a few steps away from having a really serious problem with alcohol where it's moving into that physical addiction phase. And the way that I approach it and I think that gray area drinking allows people that freedom is that you get to question your relationship with alcohol. No matter where you are on that spectrum. So I think there's that old myth of like, you have to wait till you hit rock bottom, you have to wait till you get a DUI, you have to wait until you lose your job and it's that's just all sort of not helping people who really do need help. Because it's an addictive substance and you can have problems within your life no matter where you are in that spectrum. I think it just opens up a lot of space, a lot of freedom a lot of the way that I approach it and shame free judgment for you, but it's just like, hey, like let's just get curious, especially when you talk about the health and wellness space. Let's get curious about what I'm putting in my body when I drink alcohol. And it's sort of you know, I work with so many women who read labels on everything they eat, you know, are very cognizant of sugar of all what they're putting in their body gluten but they're not looking at what alcohol is and what it's doing to them, you know, Mind Body Soul. And I think it's just an important conversation to have and to create these spaces. But there's no shame, there's no judgment, you're just being curious about a substance you're putting in your body and that's really all it is. Yeah,
Ericka Thomas 4:46
so let's pull that thread a little bit. So what exactly is alcohol doing to the body? Can we can we talk a little bit about that, like, what should we be aware of what is some of those health facts that we are sort of skimming over when we're not paying attention to what is in that bottle, as we're pouring it into the glass and, and just so I mean, we're talking about wine, but it could be anything, right? It could be it could be, you know, whatever, whatever is your favorite
Krysty Krywko 5:23
Absolutely Anything on the anything that has alcohol in it, but it is that idea. So it um, you know, it starts to change your behavior. It starts to remove you from the present space you're in so you think maybe you're drinking, you're connecting with your girlfriends or whoever, but it's really your it's removing you from that present situation, because it's altering the chemistry of your brain. It's rewiring your brain so that you know behaviors and patterns and cravings start to change. It's affecting your you know, neurotransmitters, so your dopamine or serotonin, cortisol, like all those things that are meant to function in a one way are starting to function in a different ways building up resistance to alcohol so that you have greater capacity to drink more and more. It's wrecking your sleep cycles, which is so important to you know, women in their 40s and 50s, whose sleep is maybe dysregulated anyhow because of moving into menopause, so that is just like throwing acid on the fire. It's, you know, messing up your metabolism. It's, you know, I think it like on a higher level, it's messing up your self esteem, your confidence, your trust, your accountability, all those things that you aren't even aware of because you've been drinking for for a long time. And you know, you start drinking in you know, high school or college usually. And sometimes you don't even know where you are without that alcohol so it it doesn't seem like it's doing anything because it's just been part of your system for so long.
Ericka Thomas 7:08
That becomes your normal your normal state Yeah, and
Krysty Krywko 7:11
I think it takes 72 hours for alcohol to leave your body. So if you're drinking every night, every second night, you know, you're you're really never flushing your system of that alcohol. It's always in there some way you know, at some level, so I think that yeah, it does become your new. This is just what it is. You wake up feeling groggy all the time. That's just how you wake up. Because that alcohol is in your system still.
Ericka Thomas 7:39
Yeah, so you talked about this gray area drinking being kind of on a spectrum, right so is there a safe amount of alcohol that people can drink and not experience any of these negative kind of side effects that we're talking and touching on?
Krysty Krywko 8:00
There is not surprisingly, there is not the World Health Organization has labeled alcohol is a group one class one carcinogen, which is in the same group as tobacco and asbestos. It's a carcinogen it's responsible for alright leads can lead to I think 12 or 13 Different kinds of cancers. Including breast cancer. It is not good. It's not that you know, have that glass of red wine for your heart. That is a myth. That is some false science that happened that was extrapolated that people really wanted to believe in, but it is the World Health Organization so there's no no amount of alcohol is considered safe for human consumption.
Ericka Thomas 8:45
Yeah, that's really an important point for us to kind of bring out there because there's a lot of clickbait out there. And just like you said, some misinterpreted science some gets a little twisted and I think I've heard some statistic that in order to get enough for spare tall, out of red wine, you'd have to drink like 12 bottles or something like that. And yeah, it's it's not it's not true. So, so thank you from busting that myth.
Krysty Krywko 9:22
Blew my head when I and that's something I think World Health, I can't remember was pretty recent that they came out and did that maybe 2020 20.1 which I quit drinking five years ago. So that was after I quit, but that just blew my head because I don't feel that there is some press on that on that study. But you know, I think it doesn't get into the mainstream often. And I think that that's what you know, is not doing us any favors when we don't learn these things. In our body. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Ericka Thomas 9:56
Alright, so let's, let's kind of zoom out a little bit and talk about some of the cultural aspects with this gray area drinking because Because alcohol is legal after you turn 21 It is very culturally, it's it's acceptable. It's a it's a culturally acceptable thing to kind of push the edge push the limits in social situations, and I you know, speaking specifically about binge drinking, and you know, de drinking things like that. So, um, but when I was looking at some of your your your press your your your website, you talked about mommy wine culture, and especially for Gen Xers and that's me, I am one of those and I was reading what you were saying and it was just like ding ding ding, ding, ding. And I know so many of us, especially when the kids are young like that is the thing to do in the neighborhood. Right. So can we talk a little bit about what exactly we're talking about with this mommy wine culture? Yes, I
Krysty Krywko 11:13
don't even know where where, you know, at first originated mommy wine culture, but it's that that culture that just sort of grew up around. I think there were some books out maybe in the 90s like the three Martini playdate, or, like, I can't remember there's a whole sort of like genre of these books that came out and its idea that you know, raising kids is hard. And in order to get through that, not just raising kids balancing all the things the kids have the career the house, the husband, that whole thing, or your partner. You need alcohol to get through all that and it sort of makes you that rebellious sort of cool mom to have a community a sippy cup full of you know, wine or whatever you can eat with your kids soccer game and a lot of a lot of the stuff in the Yeti cups is you know, vodka tonic or you know, wine or whatever and no judgments at all because I have been in that space. But yeah, it's that way to kind of connect with the women in the neighborhood. You know, you put all the kids in the basement order pizza and the moms are in the kitchen, you know, laughing and having a couple of bottles of wine and then everybody gets in their car with their kids and drives home and it's it is just a weird a weird when you're removed from it. It does look so weird. And it's all those of you and you've seen the means you've seen the T shirts, you've seen the rose a all day sort of paraphernalia that's just
raising children and trying to do all the things while under the influence of a substance that is altering your brain chemistry, altering your reactions, altering your judgments like altering almost things it's a very it's a very dangerous dark place and it starts on the spot. You know, it starts with this first couple playdates are fun, right? It's like okay, well, I mean, social and get especially if you've been at home, maybe you left your your job and you're at home and you're with this baby that's not sleeping or whatever and pressure was fun. It feels like there's just a little dark side where you're all of a sudden maybe drinking on your couch alone. By yourself. And that's the place where
alcohol is an addictive substance, of course that that is most likely going to be the outcome. Once you start getting involved in any kind of regulatory. Right,
Ericka Thomas 13:50
right. So, so Christie, let's go back to your story. Because I'm curious about what it was for you. You said you quit drinking five years ago. What was your turning point? What was it about where you were, that kind of flipped the switch for you that made it seem? Okay, better now, to not be in that culture to not be in that space where we're where we're drinking every day?
Yeah, so I, you know, grew up a party girl, that was one of my big things.
Krysty Krywko 14:31
And then in my marriage, we drank together a lot. That's kind of one sort of thing we had in common and then my marriage fell apart. And I went to visit a friend who had also gone through divorce and she was just like, you know, make sure you have a lot of wine in your house, especially when your kids you know, go to their dads because it's a lonely it's sad, like, just make sure you have lots of wine in your house. I was like Okay, great. Sure. can do that. No problem. And that's the worst piece of advice you can give anybody, by the way, but um, so my drinking really increased. You know, I was home alone. I was my kids were their dads are. And yeah, it was lovely. It was sad. My marriage had fallen apart. I was a little bit anxious, a little bit depressed a little bit a little bit. All those things which alcohol just makes 1000 times worse. And I think it was probably about eight months after my divorce. I was working with a health coach. Funny enough and she ran I had not told her anything about my drinking she knew nothing. I you know, when I had to sort of hand in some eating logs I had to hand in some eat. You know what I was eating my food diary. I didn't put anything about alcohol in there. And but randomly one day she just said hey, you know what? Maybe if you do you want to sort of kickstart that weight loss because I gained weight because I was drinking more and more. She's like maybe you want to go alcohol free for 30 days and just see what it's like you know, she's and then she said she herself had gone alcohol free for a year. And it was great national even drank anymore and all these things and I think it was just that I knew I was drinking a lot and finally someone came in and kind of gave me permission to look at my drinking and it was okay and it didn't mean anything. She you know, because she didn't know anything about it. She just randomly said and I was like, God, that sounds great. Yeah, I've been without alcohol for 30 days. Sounds great. And about two weeks into it. I felt so good mentally. Even though I was still dealing with the divorce and you know, being depressed like all those things. I'm still had that same thing was still there. I felt so clear. I was sleeping better. I just felt like my anxiety and my depression. Were better. Like I wasn't having all those things because I was actually dealing with things in real time. So that's what led me to just I just never wanted to be to not feel this way. You know what I mean? Like I didn't want to go back to feeling clouded and having that alcohol in my body. So I just kept pushing forward. And I just hit five years in October and I don't see myself ever drinking again. Like I just It's my whole life is just really transformed because of that. Random 30 day challenge thrown at me by a health coach.
Ericka Thomas 17:26
Yeah, yeah. And I think you said something really important about that, in that that she suggested that without attaching any meaning to it. Like there was no meaning attached to you know, just putting the that bottle down for 30 days. Like there's, there's, you know, that means nothing and, and we're we're coming into the beginning of 2024. And I know for some of my clients I'll be offering dry January challenge. I know a lot of people out there in the world do dry January. I think it's a great idea is nothing wrong with detoxing from the holidays, you know, no matter what it is that you do to celebrate. I often do a food detox for myself too from all the sugar because that's just as much of a an addiction for some of us as as alcohol can be. And, and so dry January is is is out there. And so if anybody is looking for permission to chart to give this a try, no matter where you are in that gray area drinking spectrum, even if you don't consider yourself having any kind of sticky relationship with alcohol because maybe you don't, but it certainly can't hurt you and can only help you to kind of take a break in my mind as a as a coach as a health coach and in both physical health coaching area and also as a resilience coach for the nervous system. Alcohol is just something that makes everything harder for your body and your nervous system to handle. So on every single level for every single system in your body, it's harder for your body to handle it when alcohol is in the mix too. So if you hurt if you have any kind of health goals, any any you know, we always think about weight loss at the beginning of the year. But there's so many other health goals out there. You make it harder if you leave the alcohol piece in. So you know I'm I'm all about making things as easy as possible for myself and everybody around so and that's one way to do that. What would you say to people who are kind of nervous about doing that like not sure if they you know are beyond that edge where they might need some.
And as professional guidance or help to to make that kind of change. Yeah, I
Krysty Krywko 20:45
get it. It's scary. Um, you know, I remember thinking I think back to when I first made that decision, like it was scary, just mentally scary to be like, what, what is my life going to look like without alcohol? And I think if it does scare you, and you are really not sure if you can make it through 31 days like for some people it's like yeah, no problem I can do it buys clothes, I do it every jacket, whatever. You know what I mean? Because they're not big drinkers. But if you are like really having some anxiety about like, Oh my God, I don't know if I could make it through one day. So I think that that's just a red flag to explore with a sobriety coach, someone like me, or talking to your doctor because maybe there might be some physical addiction there. And I think between or you know, a therapist that you're working with someone and then I think that given you can take the next step after that, whatever that is. Maybe that is working with a sobriety coach, maybe that is you know, really working with your doctor on how to detox because some people shouldn't just quit alcohol because it really stresses out their body. And if they had that physical addiction, they need some medical supervision. But I think just that can be the starting point. Like, you know, does it make you feel relaxed, be like, oh, yeah, that'd be great if I didn't have to drink alcohol or are you nervous and agitated and just take them as data like the work that I do at helping women explore? It's all just the process of collecting data about oh, I didn't feel good after I had those two glasses of wine the next morning, I felt like shit and all these things. You know that then you just start making like, hey, what if I don't have those two glasses of wine? And I think that that you just start collecting data about yourself. Yeah,
Ericka Thomas 22:35
and I think that the, the biggest part of that, especially when you're working with a coach, like yourself, is starting to build awareness about what it is you are actually feeling like that. What are you feeling in the moments before you take that drink? And what are you feeling with the drink? And what do you what are the what? Because we often don't tie the consequences of what happens to the source right of what we have done. We don't connect those two and that takes a little bit more self awareness, a little bit more self introspection. And, you know, that's not something that humans are known for doing very well, like in general.
Krysty Krywko 23:23
A lot of that is we just don't have role models. And if you want to talk about you know, being an being a Gen X, or you don't have great role models about how to regulate our emotions, or how to process our emotions, or you know, nobody was doing that in the 80s when I was growing up, right, it
Ericka Thomas 23:38
was, well, it was exact exactly the opposite, you know, and then in the 80s, in the 80s, it was like all about find something outside of yourself to regulate all that. You know, I mean, it was not great. And yeah, it was just just look good, that don't have to actually be good, you know. And yeah, so I remember that. Quite Yeah, quite a bit. That was everywhere in Hollywood. It was television, everywhere. Yeah. So what was the hardest part for you was Did you did you come up against any kind of stumbling blocks in your process? Go you know, in that in that shift for yourself?
Krysty Krywko 24:19
Part was the first week what to do at five o'clock, which sounds so you know, weird, maybe, but it's when that's when I would, you know, twist my or take out the cork or whatever. And for that first glass of wine is that like, you know, kind of sinking into the last half of my day. So that was just like a weird thing to figure out what to do. So that's when I started with the sketchbook that I use as a dip additional a coping mechanism and processes to tool that I use with women but that's where that my sketchbooks started to become the thing where it's like, okay, it's five o'clock. I'm going to make a cup of tea. And I'm going to sit down with my sketchbook and paint for half an hour, 45 minutes until I need to go start cook, you know, and cook dinner or whatever or take my kids do their activity or whatever it was, and that just became that way of just sort of really mark the two parts of the day. You know what I mean? I think that's some of that wine was caught up in that I just even just sitting I just want to get that recharge a bit but that was honestly the hardest part the first, the first week, just not knowing what to do at five o'clock. But also I was stubborn enough to that's just part of me, but I was just stubborn. I'm like, I'm not drinking for 30 days, so That's naughty, but you know, I got rid of all the alcohol on my house and I you know, single single moms, so I didn't have a partner who still had to have beer in the house or so it was just me I got rid of everything but yeah, that five o'clock that that witching hour or whatever you want to call it was just like no, I didn't know what to do. So that's a real trigger with a lot of Uber network with too was just like finding things to do with that five o'clock as a way to just protect that space and protect yourself.
Ericka Thomas 26:14
Yeah, and I would imagine also, kind of being prepared ahead of time for other social situations where there would be alcohol present, and what are you going to do instead and having that that plan in place, because we don't want to just bury our head and just stay inside and never, you know, be able to live our life. I mean, maybe our friends need to change maybe Hey,
but I would hope that, you know, the people that love us would respect decisions like that and still be able to we would still be able to have relationships with them. So what are some, are there some techniques or some tools that you use with your clients that kind of help them navigate some of those situations?
Krysty Krywko 20:26
Yeah, so that is 100% True, they will. Your friends will change they will. I shouldn't say your friends, your drinking buddies will slowly fall out of your life because that's really what they are. Yeah, your true friends will bubble up to the top. But yeah, we do lots of work on that because I call it you don't want to be in your sober bubble. Because you know that that's not why you stopped drinking. So that you now you just stay at home and drink seltzer water on your couch. Like that's not the point of it. The point of it is to bring joy and connection relationship into your life. So the first step is really I talk we do a lot of work on figuring out your why like why are you no longer drinking? Why are you living in alcohol free life like why? What's important behind that? And I think that sometimes helps women to figure out like the words they want to use with their friends, because it just be it's the weirdest thing you can quit sugar you can quit smoking, you can quit cocaine. No, but people will cheer you on but if you quit alcohol people will be like, Oh my God, why aren't you drinking have a shot? Come on, you can you know you're boring. They will just have an opinion. Not all the time. I was lucky enough to have a mature enough friend group but that didn't happen but it will happen in some people's friend groups. So just knowing your y getting clear on it and just having a short piece of truth like why did you quit drinking? You know, sometimes it can just be like I want to be better role model for my kids. Some you know, alcohols messing up my life like it doesn't have to be anything big and lengthy and so we work on that a lot and then we will just work a lot on you know, having a plan B a Plan C A Plan D when you do go out to your first or second or third social situation like you know, what are you going to drink? Who are you going to talk to if you have a an ally in the room who you can grab by the hand and we'll help you if you are being overwhelmed. And even just something as simple as driving yourself to an event because then you have an escape route like not getting stuck in a place and then feeling overwhelmed by whatever alcohol feelings your friends who was trying to twist your arm you can escape so um yeah, that's a big piece because you want I want my clients to go out and live full, happy joyous lives and alcohol your alcohol is making your life really small, your world really small, but you don't really know it. And then you're like, wow, what am I because going to the same bar every Friday night. This is the most boring thing on in the world. Like it really is. You're sitting in the same room. Nobody knows. Like, it's not um, it's no fun.
Ericka Thomas 23:21
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So, um, so Christy, I teased this in your intro, but I would love to hear more about your sketchbook because I personally I'm a very creative person to I like to, I like to do all different kinds of mixed media stuff. I consider myself to be a maker so I like to collect antique things and like turn them into other stuff. So I'm so I'm really curious about how you use this sketchbook idea as a part of a journaling exercise for for for your clients. So let's talk a little bit about that. Tell me all about it. Yeah,
Krysty Krywko 24:13
so it's um, it's not the kind of sketch booking that people think about when they hear sketch book. It's not like looking at a bowl of fruit or taking your sketchbook down by the river and with your pastels and, and sketching it's it's just using paint and words and images to and I use a credit card or a woulda room key from a hotel to pass a painting tool. So it's not even using like, traditional kind of art materials. It's super deconstructed, it's super accessible and it becomes a way to because sometimes unless you're like a journaler then you've been journaling for a long time. Sometimes that can be really intimidating to have a big a big blank page and like make an array how's it work? What is it supposed to sound like? And I think even though I talk about you know, doing stream of consciousness consciousness writing with my clients, it can just be really overwhelming sometimes to even know what you're feeling if you're not used to feeling things because you've been numbing with alcohol for so long. So it is it's I'm gonna I'm gonna show you my sketchbook even though the listeners can't see it, they can go on Instagram maybe but um, it's just using paint words and images just to express yourself to process what you're feeling. It's to get that high touch experience back into your life instead of high tech. Because as humans we are wired to get our hands messy to have real tactile experiences like that. Helps to rewire your brain. It helps to I don't want to say distract you but it helps you get into like that low of where you do kind of escape from whatever craving you might be have or working through some anxiety. I remember one time I got off a call with my lawyer when I was going through my divorce and I was just super you know, it was not a great call, which is anxious. And I just went and sat down and put some paint on the page and wrote a few words. And I could just feel something release and I think that that's what this really does for my clients. I have a lot of ways to access the sketchbooks, so they're not starting out like hold but um and then it really becomes and I sometimes suggest to my clients to put the sketchbook where they used to have their bottle of wine or where they used to have their wine glasses so that when they go there at five o'clock or whatever time to get that bottle of wine then you know surprise a sketchbook is there okay, I'm gonna go sit down at the table and it's just like starting to retrain your brain and building a habit and a tool that is really beneficial to you and is going to help you start to process some of the stuff you're going through. It doesn't even have to be that heavy. It's not in sometimes it is heavy work because heavy stuff is coming out. Sometimes it's just like super light and fun but it becomes that. It just also becomes a like a timeline like a guidebook of, you know, kind of where they were to start to where they ended up or where they are now. And I think it can be that. Sometimes as women we're not really didn't record in our own lives. We're super good at taking 8000 pictures of our kids or our cats or dogs or whoever. And we're not recording our own lives. So I think this also becomes a way to start to reconnect with yourself who you are, who you were before you started, you know, drinking away all the things that you thought you weren't supposed to be if that makes sense, because I think a lot of women start drinking because somebody's told them they're too shy. They're too loud. They're too tall or too heavy. They're too all the things right. And I think that we drink sometimes to make ourselves smaller. So I think that this becomes a place where we can just figure out who we really we really are, who we want to be what kind of like want to create.
Ericka Thomas 28:10
It sounds like a beautiful, simple way to use art therapy without really labeling it like art therapy. What do you what do you say to clients who come to you and they say, Well, I'm not very creative or have never really picked up any paint or touched any paint or done anything like this before? What would you what would you say to them?
Krysty Krywko 28:37
Tell them that they are creative, everybody is creative. It might not look like the kind of creativity you see on Etsy, Etsy or in a museum but everybody has their own creativity, right. So I think that a lot of people do put it away. They put it away because a teacher or a parent or someone older siblings said that sucks. It's not right. You can't do that. And then there's Yes 100% People come to me with that baggage all the time. But I think that that's why when I use like this credit card is a painting tool. It's not holding a paintbrush, which can be very triggering for some people. It's literally just taking this and spreading paint around. This also makes like a really it makes us scraping sound on the paper that is very, most like meditative. Just It's very soothing.
Ericka Thomas 29:27
Well, well you keep holding it up and I think it's beautiful all by itself. Yes. So yeah. I mean, this is an audio only podcast sadly but what what she is showing is absolutely beautiful. I think I love color. I love kind of abstract colors, different mixes. And and multimedia. And I'm really drawn to that kind of art. And so, yeah, and what a great idea, right? I mean, and it removes a barrier right? So no so you don't even you don't have to go out to the to the Michaels or the Hobby Lobby or the art store and look at like the you know, try to pick brushes. No you don't. You can use everyday stuff to kind of make the most use,
Krysty Krywko 30:17
you know, inexpensive acrylic paint that if you have kids you probably have in your house somewhere. And then a lot of recycled materials, magazines and newspapers and I think really my clients are so surprised at how creative they are. Because this is just their self expression like that's all creativity is really is creating something from nothing so it's not it looks different for everybody and I think that they are really I think it just me that whole thing of building yourself back up again to you know what I mean? Sometimes it's it gives you that self confidence that wow i
I really can do things that I think that that's just it pairs so well with sobriety just because you know you're removing that substances from blocking you know, that whole myth of the tortured artist that's you know, drinking a bottle of whiskey before they write or whatever, like that's all so mythical in our in our culture as well and it's really all that alcohol is just interfering with your creativity and your self expression.
Ericka Thomas 31:59
Well, and Alcohol is a depressant, it does it as much as it really at you know, it will kind of release inhibitions, right? Still a depressant for the nervous system. And so if you're wondering why you not feeling very good about yourself, or you're not feeling very good about your life, and you're thinking, Oh, maybe I'm depressed and you're turning to alcohol to fix that it's not fixing that it's actually pulling you down more and so if you're replacing that with something like this type of journaling with with art that actually is uplifting for the nervous system and the brain, like that replacement process. It's brilliant, actually, because you're taught you're not just it's not just tucked down. I mean, the body, your arms, your hands has to move. And you kind of have to go with whatever shows up on the page. And there's problem solving with that. I mean, it I can't imagine anything better. And for people who are not really ready to kind of do the deep dive therapies or the talk therapies, maybe we're just not there yet. Or maybe we don't have to go there. You know, maybe we don't have to go there. Maybe there's other things that can help heal, whatever it is that brought you to that point. Absolutely. And, yeah, so yeah, I think it's brilliant. I think it's brilliant. So what would you say to clients to people listening, who are listening to this and think, yeah, that's a great idea, maybe just for January or whatever, but I don't know if I want to let it go for ever. So how do you how do you approach that with your with your clients?
Krysty Krywko 34:12
So when I work with clients, we usually do 90 days together, 90 days have as alcohol free as you can be and some women come to me and are 100% Ready? They're like I am done. This was a hard stop. No more others were like, I don't know. Maybe they'll two days and they'll go back and we'll try to moderate and sometimes even in those 90 days, I will try to help them moderate and then they often they realize like I can't moderate moderate moderating is taking way too. Way too much energy way too way too much time but um it's it does go back to an AAA which has some issues, which maybe is a different episode, but one of our mantras is one day at a time and that is 100% All I ask the women I've worked with is just take it one day at a time and sometimes I even they even dig down to take it one hour at a time one minute at a time. But you just have to get through this hour without drinking. Oh, and then they just have to get through this hour or an hour. It sounds kind of maybe silly but it's sometimes those simple things are so true though when it is it's just and that again is also just coming back to like the present moment like I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring but I can't control what's gonna happen to her but right here right now. This is where I am so just controlling that present moment. And you know, I think especially in you know, a lot of our wellness culture. I think people are really just so they will try anything. They will try any sort of cleanse they will surround them so and I'm not making fun of this stuff at all, but they'll put all the crystals around them. They'll do hot yoga, they'll do whatever kind of they'll do Reiki which is all great supportive stuff, but they don't look at alcohol and I think that it can be the life changing thing that you are looking for. And just because it is it affects every system in your body. And when you get rid of it, you do have that clarity, and you can make the decisions that really fully support you so I just say, gee, you know, give it give it a try. You know whether you want to do 30 days whether you want to do 90 days, you don't know what you don't know. So I think just stepping into a space that you've never been in before is exciting and scary and all those things but approaching it with that curiosity and that it doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean anything that I put alcohol for 30 days it means nothing means I'm trying something new, but you no big deal. Like it has to be with that and to let go of any shame or judgment and yeah, just collect that data
on yourself. Yeah, that's, that's great. Krysty Thank you. Thank you so much for this conversation. Krysty. It's been great and I cannot wait. I think my listeners are going to be really interested to hear this. Before we go though, before we go. I have a couple more questions. First of all, I want to know how we can get in touch with you. How can we follow you and support your work? And where could people find you if they were interested in working with you?
Krysty Krywko 37:39
So the best way to follow me don't always you can go to my website www dot purple dog sober.com and sign up for my newsletter. You get a I have a are you a gray area drinker zine I've created so you can download that and get that and have some exercises and gives you a little bit of idea what sketch booking looks like. Or you could validate Instagram, purple duck sober. You know, on my website, I have a very deep catalogue of blog posts. I write a blog post almost every week I put resources on there so it's a very active website. Get a lot of information from there and then on my website I have a work with me button and the first step is just scheduling a 30 day 30 minute call and it's free and it's just a chance for you to see me hear me get to know me I can get to know you. We can figure out if this is the thing that might work for you. We can figure out where you are on that gray area drinking spectrum. And then we can just take that we just take the next steps from there and I do work with a 90 days is what I usually work with. Obviously if the end of the 90 days it doesn't matter. Need for you know more time I definitely do that but I'm actually fine. 90 days is a real good chunk of time to collect data and just you know figure out what's working what's not so yeah,
Ericka Thomas 39:07
that's That's great. All right, Christy, so I ask all of my guests on the work in a very specific question. And so now it's your turn. And that is what is your work in what is something that you do for yourself. That brings you joy and calm and helps you work in beyond what the eyes can see.
Krysty Krywko 39:37
You might already know you might not be surprised or my answer but it's my sketchbook. my sketchbook does all those things. It I can tell when I haven't done it because I get that that antsy feeling and going to it just is like that coming home. It is just a place where I can just lose myself and process stuff and just go to you know, with whatever I kind of need and I always walk away feeling like like I'm going through what I need to and I think it's just also just being in that present moment as much as I can. And just as always asking myself like what feels true right now because I think sometimes, you know, our brains playing tricks on us or whatever and we're not just letting ourselves be and knowing that it's okay to be uncomfortable. I think that that's a big thing that's gonna sketchbook honestly does do all that for me.
Ericka Thomas 40:37
That's awesome. That's awesome. Thank you so much, Krysty for joining us today.
Thank you Ericka. This was great. And thank you
Ericka Thomas 40:45
my curious listener for hanging out with us on the work in if you like what you heard and you want to know more head over to savage Grace coaching.com forward slash the work in for all the show notes. And links to connect with our amazing guest. I'll see you next time.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Hey there!
I’m your host Ericka Thomas. I'm a resilience coach and fit-preneur offering an authentic, actionable realistic approach to personal and professional balance for coaches in any format.
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