The #1 boundary to set no matter what you teach or coach
“This is why our own self exploration and self awareness is so important. If you can’t notice the subtle messages in your own bodily experience it will be very difficult to be attuned to others and hold space for theirs.”
-Ericka Thomas
Transcript
Ep 205
Fit Pro Success Series
#1 boundary to set no matter what you teach or coach
We’re shifting gears a bit over the next few weeks as we take a look at some essentials for fit pro success. Now I know not all of us are fitness professionals. But we all are fitness and wellness consumers. And because of that I want to take some time to share some of the qualities that make good instructors better and great instructors great. These are things we can all look for when shopping for wellness options that work for us.
Our work in today is the #1 boundary fit pro’s need to set and that we can look for as savvy consumers of fitness.
Have you ever taken a class/or personal training session and felt completely ignored by the instructor?
Have you ever taken a class that felt like the instructor was punishing you?
Have you ever been in a class that felt like performance art from your teacher?
Disconnection, punishment and performance are 3 bad habits and red flags that those fit pros have not done the work to set professional boundaries let alone the most important one.
Group fitness instructors in any format (and trainers + coaches too) don’t show up at the front of the room by accident, fully formed and empty of ego, ready to serve their students with compassion and curiosity.
No, we start out usually with a love of what we do, a list of the hardest exercises we know and pretty much no clue about human behavior. And that includes our own. Most of us are a little or a lot Type A and like to tell people what to do and exactly how to do it. We usually have some body image issues which seems counter intuitive but it’s true. And just because we can count out loud , do complex choreography, look you in the eye and smile all at the same time doesn’t mean we have it all together. And despite how we look on the outside we aren’t alll that healthy, mentally, emotionally or physically either. Most of us gravitate toward healing body work because we know how much work we still need to do. Subconsciously of course. Fit pro’s are the epitome of “you can’t judge a book by its cover”.
Many, many fit pros come into the industry through the gym/or class that they spend all their time in. It’s enticing because you think this is great! I can get paid to work out AND workout all my issues and traumas. I know that was how I looked at it for many of my early years. And for those that come through more formal education channels it’s rare that they receive any specific “how to teach” kind of training. Most of those skills can only be acquired through real world experience.
To be fair, we’re all works in progress. But there is one piece of advice that I received not soon enough in my career that could have saved me from so many bad habits. It’s a simple one and it should be the first one that we all learn before we step up to the front of the room.
It’s not your workout.
Let me say that again for all my beautiful fit pro’s and coaches out there. It’s not your workout. No matter what your format, from kickboxing to spin to yoga to zumba and especially for those PT’s out there. Their workout is not your workout.
I had a client tell me about meeting with a personal trainer for the first time at a new gym. He was a young guy. She told him she had wrist issues and couldn’t do push ups. He promptly asked her to do push ups on her knuckles. She was 65 years old and had never done a push up in her life.
Look, I love pushups personally, and I think all humans should do them. But there are some build up steps between never done them before and knuckle push ups. A lot of real estate. Which aren’t necessarily easier for anyone, by the way. You can probably guess that this client did not return to that trainer. Which is unfortunate because that trainer could have benefited from some constructive feedback. Sadly if you screw up with someone sometimes they disappear and you never get a second chance. No one is immune from that.
From the front of the room in a group setting, we are charged with putting together a challenging workout that’s both creative and inspiring that will somehow meet every individual in that room where they are and fit the class description. That’s a high bar. AND It’s not a place to punish ourselves for that brownie sunday we caved in to last night or to punish the back corner girls who keep giggling and chatting over your instructions.
The only way to free ourselves from that inner slave driver is to fully embrace this boundary.
It’s not your workout.
One of the best ways to do that is to say it to your classes, students and clients. At the beginning of every session as a part of your intro. Repeat it as many times as you can. “This is YOUR workout” It gives them permission but it also serves as a good reminder to yourself.
A boundary like this creates a container for your classes with multiple benefits.
If this class is not your workout, you don’t have to do all of it. You can step off the mat and be more fully present with your students to notice when THEY need options to modify or progress exercises.
If this session isn’t your workout, your nervous system can relax and that buffers you from burnout. Physical,mental and emotional.
If this class is not your workout it lets you be there FOR your students. Being open to learning what they are there for. It lets you teach to the room. And keeps you present.
The flip side of your boundary
Part of the purpose of a boundary is that it serves people on both sides. As consumers of fitness and wellness services like classes and training we need to be given explicit permission to to make this class/exercise fit where we are.
Most people have been well programmed to simply follow the leader no matter what and we’re conditioned to expect suffering when we’re coming into certain kinds of classes. Especially HIIT and bootcamps. There are definitely certain formats that need to be led. For example zumba classes and some choreographed kickboxing or aerobics classes. For many people, coming to a group class is a way to be social, it’s a time when they can turn off their brain, they don’t have to make any decisions, they can just follow along, they can get out of their head and into their body.
This is often a subconscious desire. They want to feel better. Part of that is learning to feel.
This is where this boundary comes in. The other side of “It’s not your workout” for the fit pro is “this is YOUR workout” for the student. Complete permission to make it their own through modifications, through intensity, through impact or not. Giving that permission, drawing that clear boundary that this time is FOR THEM opens a door to more physical awareness.
And that is the real job of a fit pro. We aren't teaching yoga or kickboxing or weight lifting. We’re really teaching people how to be more physically mentally and emotionally aware in their own body.
We have a responsibility to model that and we fail when we are constantly overriding our own body for the sake of performance or punishment and it only serves to disconnect us more from our own body and our students.
As the fit pro in the room, there’s no way for you to guess what your students are coming for or what kind of baggage they are lugging around. You won’t know how they slept last night, what their workout week was like, what injuries they live with or the stress they carry. You can only know those things for yourself and then take the opportunity to model that self respect and self care.
There is a fine line between knowing what’s best and knowing what’s possible. That line is the challenge/success line. We want to offer both. In order to do that we have to establish strong boundaries and hold space for whatever our students walk in the door with. Giving them permission to acknowledge and honor whatever those things are is the most important thing a fit pro can do.
This is why our own self exploration and self awareness is so important. If you can’t notice the subtle messages in your own bodily experience it will be very difficult to be attuned to others and hold space for theirs.
It’s not your workout. It’s 100% theirs.
Thanks for listening!
If you're looking for ways to handle the effects of stress, physically, mentally and emotionally through the body head over to savagegracecoaching.com/theworkin you’ll find all the show notes for this and other episodes plus lots of free resources. And if you’re in a place where you are ready for more and you live in the Dayton Ohio area I’m taking private clients for trauma release yoga in person and online. So book a discovery call and we can have a real life conversation. And of course I’d be ever so grateful if you would take a moment to like and subscribe to this podcast wherever you’re listening.
Hey there!
I’m your host Ericka Thomas. I'm a health coach and trauma informed yoga professional bringing real world resilience and healing to main street USA.
I offer trauma release + yoga + wellness education for groups and individuals…regular people like you.
Book a call to learn how I can help.