Finding your voice in the wellness space with Tawnia Converse
Episode Links
In this episode we discuss...
- Finding clarity and your authentic voice
-Cultivating self trust
-How to integrate your life experience into your voice
-Overcoming the lonely entrepreneur space
And so much more...
https://wwwasoulfulspace.com
Soldiers marching
Transcript
The Work IN is brought to you by Savage Grace Coaching and Kinetic Grace Resilience. Personalized trauma release and resilience training that meets you where you are.
Ericka Thomas 0:00
Tawnia is an experienced yoga teacher and mentor and the creative force behind A Soulful Space LLC virtual healing arts studio. Tawnia retired from the Marine corps after 20 years of service as a Spanish linguist and intel analyst and now she supports women in their spiritual journey back to become whole, radiant and sovereign souls through yoga.
Tawnia has an incredible journey and experience to share with her clients, students and fellow instructors in the wellness space and this promises to be a really interesting exploration as we learn a little bit more about Tawnia and take a look at how we can build a more authentic voice in our personal and professional lives.
So let’s start our work in with Tawnia Converse
Welcome, Tawnia.
Tawnia Converse 0:50
Hello. thanks for having me.
Ericka Thomas 0:53
Thank you so much for being here. So let's dive in a little bit. And I'd love for you to give us a little bit more background about yourself and just kind of share a little more about your experience coming into the wellness space.
Tawnia Converse 1:12
A little unusual, as you have already pointed out, I came to the wellness space after an active duty Marine Corps career a little over 20 years. And interestingly enough for me, yoga, I found yoga in my mid 20s. But I had an on again off again relationship with it and it's what I'll call it. And it wasn't until I got toward the end of my career the last five or so years so in my late 30s that I had a more consistent practice and was interested in developing a more committed relationship with the practice of yoga, which to me are what it meant for me was, as I now know, was it was exposing a burgeoning interest in myself, honestly. And not living so much from outside in, but from inside out. And to me yoga was the was the initial guide and still is the central part of the work that I do and informs most of what I do. Yeah, that's interesting.
Ericka Thomas 2:25
That's interesting. So was there something about that stage of your life, especially with your military service, that sort of facilitated that that new interest in introspection
Tawnia Converse 2:43
consciously No. But I will say that yoga for me, has always kind of occupied the space of being a balancer. So as I was, as I gained in seniority and responsibility in the Marine Corps, as you can, as you can imagine, right the Marine Corps world
is, it is physical, it is hierarchical. It is.There are life and death. decisions being made on a regular basis in in your world, and that not to sound flippant about it that that is kind of the reality of, of a military career. And so for me, yoga offered the balance or to all that. Heaviness, if you will, right, like the seriousness, I suppose. Yeah. And so when I was pregnant with both of my children, but my first child specifically, that really kind of got me on a more committed path with yoga, and motherhood does change. And, and so I I, if I had to point at something I would say it was that it was a little bit of perhaps the the kind of inherent disconnect between this very, what we tend to label anyway in our culture as, as a masculine world that I lived in right the active and and linear world of the Marine Corps, and the, the maternal that needed to come forward and so maybe it was a little bit the push pull between those two spaces and me. I mean, you're going to be a mother. It's not like you have a child. Like that maternal instinct is going to come forward and, and trying to, I think, find the space in between those, like, where where do I exist in sort of the tension of what they seem very opposite. And so kind of holding the tension of those opposites kind of led me to, to explore a little more deeply.
Ericka Thomas 5:10
Yeah, that is interesting that that phrasing like holding that tension, it's almost like a dynamic, dynamic tension. It's like a dynamic tension between those two sides and I'm I'm wondering, I mean, your story really highlights kind of a big difference right between that yin and yang that that masculine and feminine dichotomy there, but I'm wondering if maybe that's something that ever that is inside all of us, right? That that little bit of dynamic tension between those opposites inside each and every one of us that that a little bit more awareness and self exploration or slightly AI that we talked about in yoga, might might support?
Tawnia Converse 6:06
Absolutely. And honestly, I think that's part of what we are seeing come forward in our culture. Right now is this is that the dynamicism almost have what happens when the pendulum is swinging. And what we have forgotten is that we don't exist in the extremes. None of us is all any. We are. Interestingly enough, we are all everything right in the in the, I believe as yoga teaches us that in oneness in the in our interconnectedness and the illusion of separation. And our belief in masculine and feminine. Being separate is part of what causes us the dissonance, and makes it difficult to kind of hold the tension of those seeming opposites. Because we've, in a lot of ways, we've been taught or in human form, we live by contrast, or we learn by contrast, and so it makes perfect sense like nobody's fault for the way that we think or us believing in like stories that aren't actually ours. Don't make sense to us. But to me, that's part of the spiritual path is it's not just learning new it is unlearning and being willing to examine what we've always believed to be true and and challenge it a little bit. And then we get to decide what expresses through us and out into the world we get to decide, is this an important part of me? Is this story true for me? Is this a narrative that I want to replicate through my presence in the world, my choices, my voice, my presence, my actions, my thoughts, and in that, it's, it's it's kind of a It's a dance, really, I think ultimately it's,
Ericka Thomas 8:18
yeah, absolutely. And I think for so many people, we start to identify with our experiences as if that is all we are. And I love the idea of really asking the question is this story that I've told myself, or that has been told to me throughout my life, is this really true? And sometimes that can be a really big question. And answer can be very, very enlightening, right? We can, we can open up all kinds of of new pathways when we answer that question. When those answers are different than maybe things that we've known our whole lives. So you talk about helping women return home to themselves. So I'd like to like explore that a little bit more. Because you know, maybe some, maybe we don't really understand what that means, like returning home to yourself. And that might be a little bit of a challenging concept for people to wrap their head around. So can you tell tell us a little bit more about that idea?
Tawnia Converse 9:33
Yeah, absolutely. The I believe that we are all already whole, right, as I've already expressed, and it's essential to central to, to the teachings of the wisdom tradition of yoga. And I believe that we forget, and in that forgetting, we sort of it's like being asleep and having a dream, and believing that the dream is real. And believing that whatever it is that we've done in the dream, and we've all had these dreams that were so intense, perhaps I'm maybe I'm projecting there, but I know I've had dreams that were so intense that you wake up and you carry forward the emotions from that dream as if nothing had actually happened.
Ericka Thomas 10:14
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I often wake in a woken up being angry at my husband for no reason except for what happened.
Tawnia Converse 10:22
Right? Precisely. And so if we can sort of take that example and bring it into our waking lives, and say that in the forgetting of our wholeness, right, we start to allow the dream the stories that are given to us, as you've said that maybe something we've been told time and time again, a lie repeated many times. Doesn't necessarily become the truth, but boy, we can sometimes then believe it right. And, and so we can get very turned around and it can lead us to believe in our brokenness, in our powerlessness in our lack and the circumstances of the outside world might support those stories, those beliefs and therefore that journey of coming home to ourselves is one of remembering who we've always been.
Ericka Thomas 11:31
Yeah, and I can't imagine that that would be a kind of a difficult journey. Right? I mean, how do you start that walk back?
Tawnia Converse 11:44
Generally, there's a crisis.
Ericka Thomas 11:46
Yes, always. Right.
Tawnia Converse 11:50
There is some manner of crisis. I won't say big or small, right? Because you don't really compare crises, crises or crises. But generally, there's there's something in our lives. For me personally, it has been. It was a deep depressive episode, and it was running myself into the ground, moving myself in the direction of burnout, living into stories and roles and masks, for lack of a better term that that I that I did, they were hard for me to live out because they weren't real. Right? They weren't true. And so it was exhausting and I literally exhausted and kind of fell to the point where I felt as though I was sort of a puddle on the floor in my own life. And I felt lost to myself. And, and, and I didn't even remember like I felt so locked to myself that I wasn't always sure that it really had been different at any point in my life like, I really was. I believed that this puddle if you will, on the ground that I had become with somehow true. And, and I knew I couldn't continue to to live this way. Like, I just didn't have the energy anymore, to carry the burdens. Of all of the like Paris dressed for an Alaska winter in the middle of summer, and it just made no sense. And it was really, really hard. And so the process then to use that analogy, the word I was faced with and the process that I chose was to start to shed those layers. What happens if I take off this layer? Oh, look, I didn't that I am still present. I'm a little lighter. I'm a little. Okay. Well, what happens if I take off this layer? It didn't. That's why I think it's often we'll hear it referred to as a shedding process in a lot of ways right. And, and I think that's the truth. I think that's why I use the terminology coming home to ourselves because it's we're not reinventing anything. We're not creating. We're remembering. We're returning to a state that is our most natural state. It's our central selves.
Ericka Thomas 14:34
And it sounds like those layers can be kind of layers of protection, almost, you know, and I mean, they can be they're not they're not always protective layers, but certainly they can become kind of like an armor, right? Absolutely. Yeah.
Tawnia Converse 14:57
So part of how we learn to move through the world, right? So we grow accustomed to wearing you know, being dressed, if you will, for that Alaska winter, in the in the middle of summer in Florida. And it it becomes normalized to us. We start to think that every step is hard that I am, you know, I'm designed to like just sweat my butt off and be totally uncomfortable and unhappy and to have to struggle for everything and I don't believe that that is our innate truth. I think I believe now especially I lived as the one cookie for many years, and that is still something that I work at all the time. Like, I refer to my work as the spiral path of soul sovereignty because it's never ending. It's not a linear thing. I still sometimes will pick up one of those really heavy coats and put it back on, you know, without noticing, and I'll try to trudge through and be like, What is going on? There suddenly, so uncomfortable? Why are my steps suddenly so much more difficult? And it's just a shorter period of time now before I remember. Yeah, and the forgetting is just as sacred as the remembering. So we're not wrong.
Ericka Thomas 16:31
Right? I mean, everybody does the best that they can, with. What they have in front of them is is sometimes we are making it a little bit harder for ourselves. That may be what it needs to be. And yeah, and so your work is is really beautiful, because you're helping, you're helping women really see through some of those layers and kind of peeling them back a little bit at a time.
Tawnia Converse 16:59
So I'd like to mention that this is the this is the human journey, right? I work for me my work seems to be most supportive. My voice seems to be most well received by women I seem to be greatest support to women, but this this journey is is that of making money and so men, women those who identify in any with any identity whatsoever, are are on this path to
Ericka Thomas 17:31
absolutely, absolutely, yeah, we we think we're very different from each other. But honestly, I don't think there's as big of differences between us as, as may seem on the surface
Tawnia Converse 17:46
Yeah. Well, isn't that a bit of the illusion of separation?
Ericka Thomas 17:50
Absolutely. Yeah. The illusion of separation. And I am reminded when you said that I was reminded you know, there was there was something in one of my trainings that sort of stood out to me and has stuck in my head through the years about how really suffering is all suffering is caused by separation of some kind and and Yeah, and so I really, that really resonates right there. So let's talk a little bit more about finding our voice, our own personal voice and that journey back to our own truth. So I'd love to talk a little bit more about finding your voice. And I think when we're talking to instructors and coaches in the world wellness space, you know, there's a lot of us that work in the wellness space, and it's really difficult sometimes to kind of set yourself apart. And I'm, I'd love to explore the importance of clarifying your own personal voice, and how we really kind of go deep into, you know, learning who we really are first, in order to figure out what our voice is going to be and, and how we're going to put that out into the world. So Can Can we talk a little bit more about that how we, how we kind of figure out what our voice is and how to kind of encourage it to come out?
Tawnia Converse 19:31
Well, something I think incredibly important that you already touched on is it's ultimately it's about knowing ourselves and, and allowing that to be an evolving process, right. I think that we can sometimes feel a little paralyzed by the idea that we have more to learn and so we step into teaching or leadership or space whole thing with in in a space and as you as you said, it's not just in our work, it's in our communities, in our relationships, our families, all the places where we are present, we have some influence and we are leaders in those spaces or can certainly be leaders in those spaces. In terms of wellness work, knowing your voice to me getting to getting to be centered in your voice and working from that place. Ultimately makes your work more effortless. Because it is naturally welling up and out of you're not having to work so hard to carefully curate an experience for each and every client. Instead, you're stepping into the container with the clients whether you work in a group setting or you work one on one, however big that container might be. you free yourself to step into the container when the other people will because you trust yourself and who you are. And from that place you can trust them to curate their own experience. So what are you sharing? Some questions I think that are really valuable. To ask yourself in sort of exploring your own voice and sort of surfacing your voice for yourself is where is my joy in this practice? That's where this work. And if you're not sure where to start with that, listen to clients. When they come up. What are they reflecting back? To you most often right after a class or a session, someone walks up to you and says, Oh, thank you so much, Erica, I always feel so after our time together. Right? Because chances are good like we respond to people's joy. I love watching like go into an art installation or watching live music or some some sort of performance or anything. I love watching people do what they love to do, even if I don't actually even if what they're doing doesn't really resonate with me. There is a there's magic in watching someone in that space for themselves. Right And and I think in a way it like magnetizes it starts to bring forward and like almost pulls out of us in a way like surfaces for us that within ourselves like what touching someone in their joy in their eye. I hesitate to use the word purpose because I think it's a little overused in the wellness space and starts to sound prescriptive, like you have to find like what is your purpose but when someone is like, anchored into their body into their whole cell and bringing that forward into whatever they're doing, that isn't that's a thing of beauty, to to see. And when we're on the receiving end of that we know it we've all had those experiences with teachers or leaders or whomever that we feel like they're talking just to us even if we're in a room. Yeah, because something they're saying like they are in their joy they are sharing from that place within them that is true and authentic and immutable in a way right like they are sharing from that place. What we're not separate.
Ericka Thomas 23:47
Yeah, so I just want to Yeah, I just want to highlight what you're what you're what you're talking about here because this is something I think that we use the word embodiment a lot in in wellness and in coaching, but I don't think people really, I've never heard anybody really explain it quite as well as what you're talking about here. I mean, it sounds like a great idea. Let's Let's all be embodied in what we do, but that can be a very woowoo kind of concept for for for coaches and instructors. If they have not experienced that or they're not they're not really sure what that means. And so, I love what how you just describe that to really be in, in anchored in your body in the joy of what you're you're doing in any given moment. And I think that comes from and correct me if I'm wrong or maybe you can expand on this. Really knowing who you are and being able to trust who you are, no matter what is going on around you. Am I understanding that right?
Tawnia Converse 25:07
Yes, the only tweak I would make a little to the different perspective maybe that I would put on it only for the fact that knowing who we are is another one of those terms. I feel like like knowing your purpose that kind of gets used against us sometimes and turned around in this way, right? I don't I don't hear you meaning it this way. But I think in the broader culture. It can sometimes feel heavy, right? Like oh, sure who I am sure gosh, I mean, I have to know who I am before I can work and I would say that it's about being committed to being in loving and honest relationship with yourself as you are and as you will continue to unfold and evolve and all of that, right because there's a lot of grace and compassion wrapped up in that idea when we talk about knowing who we are that sounds solid and immovable in a way right like there's some point in time that we're going to reach where the skies will open up our crown chakra will bloom into a giant Lotus. Be the most beautiful Bodhi tree in the whole wide world. Right right. And wow, I would love that for all but if we wait to share with the world, our joy until it is absolute. Then a lot of people who could really use what we have to say who can really benefit from hearing what we have to say we'll miss out because we will have been silent.
Ericka Thomas 26:48
Right and that speaks to the complexity of people, right each. Each one of us is much more complex. than just a single sentence description about who we are. And every experience that we have as we move through our life is going to change us in some way. And so I think part of that part of that journey is being open to those changes and letting ourselves accept that yes, we are going to change and so there there isn't going to be a a final self, right that that that self is always growing
Tawnia Converse 27:35
or our understanding of ourself
Ericka Thomas 27:36
right yes,
Tawnia Converse 27:38
our connection to oneness is always growing. Because we are we are choose the different way of inviting we are embodied. Right we are in bodies, right?
And so we experience things through these bodies that we could not experience as just our as just spirit for instance right as a disembodied spirit which is why the term embodiment circle all the way back back, right why the term embodiment I think, can feel so maybe unknowable to us because it's almost like Well, of course I'm embodied. I'm in my body. And yet, are you?
I think in the work you do, for sure, right. You help people see that maybe they're not as fully in our bodies, as because there are a lot of things that occurred to us a lot of experiences. We have that we take on board and an end up not being fully in our bodies. The other really interesting thing, a way to look at this or consider this too is that in our culture we we tend to hold the mind in a sort of a supreme role, right? We think things through that challenge is especially for those of us who are sharing with people, especially movement practices, right, is that if we're teaching from here, how are we really transmitting to someone a felt sense, or giving people permission to have an embodied experience?
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Tawnia Converse 30:00
If we are guiding the experience from a mental place Yeah, I would venture I would offer that ...
Ericka Thomas 30:10
That is an interesting question and one that instructors should maybe maybe think about right The mental... it should it is something to consider. You know, if you are someone who is looking to kind of build your craft a little bit, you know, it's it's something to really look at how you're communicating to your students and clients in the room and then maybe even watching carefully about how that's being received.
Tawnia Converse 30:45
So yeah, being in the room with people is it sounds a little obvious because you are literally in the room with people but often when we are in the seat of the instructor, we are not in the room with the people. That's truly
Ericka Thomas 31:01
That's true. That's true, because you have to have this high contour perspective like what's coming next. What's what's what is you know, your keep you're holding this space, but, you know, we're all human. And occasionally, the grocery list pops into your head, you know, like, what do you have to do and after this class is done. It's just, it is it's unfortunate that occasionally happens. Right?
Tawnia Converse 31:30
And any, it's important for us to let that be okay. Yeah. Yeah. Right, because again, I think it circles back to something you said earlier in the embodiment aspect is we have to trust ourselves. To and trust, trust ourselves to be sharing from as genuine a place as we possibly can today, and ways that we support ourselves in the moments that because we can only show up to teach when we're feeling awesome, right? Absolutely are embodying that Bodhi tree. Crown Chakra is wide open right with that. If we only did that, like we couldn't schedule anything, everything would be a pop up class because we would never know for sure and project that so part of the beauty of the experience of being a space holder is trusting ourselves to step into this space and this is where our this is where the studying we've done is important. This is where thinking we've done about the things up until now is important the concepts we've taken on board, our own personal relationship to the practice or the work that we're sharing, because there's a there's a reservoir within us that we've already that we built. of experience of, of our personal experience and professional experience. We don't have to invent the experience from scratch every time
Ericka Thomas 33:08
Yes,
Tawnia Converse 33:09
yeah, we can allow. I mean, that's why we study as teachers, right? So there is some foundation on which we're standing. And we we benefit from the lineage of lineage or lineages that that have interested us and resonated with us the most. And we are also free to let that pass through us and become uniquely expressed through us as well. Right.
Ericka Thomas 33:39
Right. Yeah. And I will, I will share something. It's just interesting. I really love to hear you say that it's so important about trusting yourself to kind of be what that class or what that person needs. In that moment. That's something that really, that I strive for. When I stand in front of my classes. It's almost a mantra in my head before stepping in front of a class that whatever whoever is in front of me is meant to be in front of me in that moment. And so what I say even if it's unplanned, that is based on my own experience. It might be exactly what that person needs to hear in that moment. And and to be able to trust that I think sometimes we get hung up on saying the quote unquote just right thing for that just right you know, I action in the moment and and that can bring up a lot of fear like I don't want to tell somebody the wrong thing or, you know, God forbid we you know, someone is injured because of something that you say in front of a class or whatever. But I think that that trust is really, really important and to be able to integrate your own your own life experience that is that is really critical to finding that authentic voice. I think people really appreciate that. I think clients and students really appreciate that in the wellness space to just be real in front of them, and that you're not perfect and you know it you don't have to be perfect to to really make someone's life better despite one little phrase or or sentence that you may not even think was important but to that person meant everything.
Tawnia Converse 35:43
That's an experience I've had time and again that has really supported me in being able to deeply hold that sense of trust is when months years later someone comes up to you or you get a thank you note in the mail or an email that says you want said this thing to me. And I so needed to hear it. Yeah. And and the sweetest spot is when I don't remember saying it.
Exactly, exactly. And like even say sometimes like well that doesn't really sound like something I would say.
And I wonder, is it something I said or is it what they received? Right and the moment that leaves my mouth I lose all agency of it. Right right now it's a gift that I'm delivering. Every single every word that we utter, as teachers, if you will, is a blessing. We're bestowing upon whomever we're in the room with, and they are free to do with it. Exactly as they will. And that can be so hard for us because we want to be understood. We want to be received, we sometimes step in and the role of teacher that many of us have learned in our lives is one of who holds one who holds the answers. In my work, I don't believe that I hold the answers for anyone but myself. I asked really good questions and I'm happy to be curious with you about something. And I'm happy to allow people to benefit from my experience because if I can kind of if I can lessen the load or shorten the path for them by saying, Well, you know, here's a practice that you can try. Here's a tool that you know, I would be happy to share with you. Here's a an experience I've had that I would be happy to share with you. Here's a teaching that I received from someone else that benefited me. Then in that way I might be able to lighten the load and kind of the journey from where they are to where they want to go. But ultimately, I don't hold an answer for anybody else. I can't know it. I can't. It's impossible. And that's so freeing. Absolutely laughter It scares the crap out.
Ericka Thomas 38:24
Well, not and not just freeing, but also it really elevates what it is that you do when you step in front of a class. It's not just about telling people to do you know 10 postures in a certain order or certain choreography in a certain order. That is the least of what we do for people in front of the room. And in many ways, and, and so yeah, so that's really powerful. Yeah, so So let's talk a little bit. We'll shift gears and I'm curious Tanya, in your experience, what has been the most challenging aspect of being an entrepreneur in your own business in in the wellness space
Tawnia Converse 39:15
for me early on, feeling so alone in it? Because I really I struggled early on I had a brick and mortar while I started as many of your teachers do, right like going from place to place to place until I tired myself out with that. And and then I opened my own space until I tired myself out with that. And, and then I have since moved on to the virtual. And one of the greatest gifts that I inadvertently gave myself was placing myself in a community of support, where other like minded entrepreneurs also existed. When I had the brick and mortar well, and honestly when I was just a contract yoga teacher going from place to place working in other people's spaces to each time I sort of bumped up against this idea of I'm not sure that this can be my profession. Because I didn't I couldn't see how to do it and flourish in all the ways right like, not just to financially but like energetically and to feel like held and supported and bed if you will within it and maintain my alignment with my values. The dominant business culture in in the US anyway. does not seem to be in alignment can seem antithetical to yoga wisdom, home values of justice and non exploitation and all of these things. You can it's, for me, it was easy for me to feel like I never going to be able to make this work like the math doesn't work. And so I either have to sort of cut a part of myself off and, and work in a way that is not in alignment, which working in the wellness world seems completely impossible because I didn't know how I could step in as a teacher. Teaching. These values that were very near and dear to me are very near and dear to me, and then operate my business not in alignment with those values. That sort of bifurcation of myself. Just it just never made sense. And so it always felt like it was it was like a losing battle in a way. Yeah. And being in community with other people, other entrepreneurs, a lot of women I mean, two virtual communities one where we met in our circle with a marvelous and then also in, in the community guided by Kelly Beals, who's a culture making copywriter and marketer and in both of those spaces, I am one not alone. And, and two I am a witness to and witness in the struggle as they unfold right and and I see and hear other people wrestling with what is the you know, what is the justice oriented thing to do here? How do I make what I do? How do I make a living doing what I'm doing and still make it accessible to people who may not have the means to to, you know, pay what I need in order to, you know, have a roof over my head and food on my table around with that. Right and joy? Like let's not actually let me walk that back because it is not just about surviving. If our place in the world is helping supporting other people in thriving and flourishing in their lives, which is what we're doing in the wellness space ideally I think anyway is then thriving can't be enough for us under our surviving I'm sorry. We deserve to thrive too and be healthy, support it in whatever way we see that big round. And, and we I just think that that can be incredibly difficult. You know, we as women kind of take on board for taking care of everybody else. Right? Posture anyway right? Like that's one of those stories we were talking about earlier. Yeah. That often is expressing through us and into the world. And so then when we get into these wellness spaces where we are of service to other people, we can definitely very easily carry over that idea that of self sacrifice. And who benefits? Right? I would I would offer that ultimately no one does. Yeah,
Ericka Thomas 44:30
I would agree with that. I would agree with that. And eventually, you know, what comes out of that kind of behavior is resentment and unfortunately that resentment can be misdirected everywhere. Not just not just outside of us but at ourselves as well.
Tawnia Converse 44:50
Absolutely right. We can believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us as entrepreneurs as wellness practitioners, as business women as whatever, and and how can we possibly thrive? Absolutely. You know, from that position?
Ericka Thomas 45:08
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for for many people, the reason we become entrepreneurs is because we don't want out typical job. We don't want to feel like we are working for someone else. We want to we want to do something for ourselves. And that sort of steals that that kind of behavior. Yeah, absolutely. So can you share a few bits of advice for instructors, who may be new maybe have been, you know, in wellness or any other kind of coaching for that matter, for a while, who might be you know, at a point in their career where they're, you know, maybe questioning what it is they're doing and why they're doing it, to maybe help them move forward a little bit or to find some extra clarity or confidence or maybe just to come back to their themselves in a more authentic way.
Tawnia Converse 46:03
Return to your practice, whatever that is. And ask yourself what what is my relationship to this work? What is it what space does it hold for me, personally, and what do I love to share? For me personally, what I have found over time is my my work is been evolving very organically, which means slowly
Ericka Thomas 46:36
Yeah, that word organically is I love that word. It just means really slow. Got that going? On too. Don't worry about it.
Tawnia Converse 46:48
Come to understand about myself that I am a in comparison to what is considered normal in our culture. I'm a slow integrator. But integration is incredibly important to me, because circling all the way back to that conversation about embodiment and boys, I know that my work is so much more potent. And for me and for the people I work with, right I am held by my work to Yeah, so I have come to understand about myself that I require more integration time than what is seen to be or what is presented as normal in our culture anyway, right because I think integration is maybe a skill that we are not particularly I'm going to say interested in but it is it's not a skill well taught in our culture. We're well valued the idea of integration and for me, it just takes longer does it right, like it's my pace, right? And so, learning my pace is something this year that I've really been thinking about a lot and working with and integrating is that is what is my relationship to time. I would offer that none of us are linear creatures, right? But linear time is a it's a construct, and it's designed to support us in moving through the world and relating to one another, right like you and I wanted to meet at a particular time to have this conversation. Time is handy in that way. And cyclical time, the time of nature is is is our natural clock. That's the RNA clock. And so we feel bound by this linear time. And this idea that there's a limited amount of time and I think should take this long or that long. I would invite anyone who feels themselves sometimes being pushed, I imagine to a threshold where they're moving in the direction of something, maybe maybe new that they have an inkling of and sometimes it's we're being pushed in a direction that is feels very unknown and perhaps unknowable. I wouldn't invite you at that time, especially to come back to yourself to come back to whatever practices whatever tools, whatever, books, teachers, anything that support you in feeling anchored in who you know yourself to be. Because it's from that place that the next step we often think we have to know the destination and we really only have to know the next step. To cross the threshold only requires us to take the next step. Yeah. And so let yourself give yourself the freedom to pull back and not know where you're going in the far distant future. Right that No, it's okay to not know where you're heading. Just take what is the next step. Beautiful, and and what's the next step after that? And then accept that and let it take as long as it takes. So I know that's hard when you have bills to pay. Absolutely, like lead, and all of that, right. So it's very easy to say that like I often say to clients, it's all very simple. But it is not easy, right? Well, yeah, actually walk out into the world.
Ericka Thomas 51:04
Absolutely. And, and something that often people forget is that nothing is going to happen until you make a decision. Right? So sometimes it's easy just to like wait until everything is just right. But you'll be waiting forever because it's never just right. You have to make the decision, decide to take the action, take the action and then everything will fall in place. It happens that happens all the time that way, but you can't until just like you said first take the first step,
Tawnia Converse 51:35
step. Yeah, that step and then it's okay, if you take that step. That's the other part, I think is to allow it to be an unfolding journey. And so, because I have taken one step in that direction, does not mean that I have that the next step will necessarily be in exactly that direction. A course corrections. That includes sometimes stepping backward, right? You know, we're turning around and one ad is taking a step in the opposite direction. Sometimes that is the next right step. And so it does come back to being in a trusting relationship with yourself. Do you trust yourself to figure it out? Do you trust yourself to get the support you need? And that some Yeah, that's kind of the nectar right there is Yeah, building that relationship of of love and trust with yourself. This is okay. Well, apart, I'm gonna love myself through it. And I trust myself to navigate whatever right absolute to deal in a way that fell in line with my values and who I believe myself to be today with whatever comes forward and reveals itself. Absolutely.
Ericka Thomas 52:59
Absolutely. Wonderful. Okay, so Tanya, this podcast is called the work in and I asked all my guests to share their own work in that's just something that they do for themselves that supports your own physical, mental or emotional well being that goes beyond what the eyes can see. So now is the time what is your work in these days?
Tawnia Converse 53:29
Having nearly non negotiable daily meditation and journaling practice? I say nearly non negotiable because life happens but Absolutely.My first thing when I open my eyes in the morning, or when I surface to consciousness from sleep in the morning, it doesn't involve opening my eyes. Is is gratitude and then I don't let myself leave my room until I have sat up and sat with myself. Whether that's five minutes or it's 15 minutes, whatever I and it's from that plate because in that way, I feel as though I am kind of claiming for myself. The the resonance, the energetic quality, the spirit with which I intend to move through the day and I'm aligning with my inner self and anchoring into my inner self before I express out into the world, and that really helps me move through the world in a more authentically embodied way. That then supports my voice.
Ericka Thomas 54:54
Yeah, so what does that entail exactly for for people who are not maybe familiar with meditation practices, I think sometimes when when we hear someone has a daily meditation practice, it sounds a little unreachable if you're not familiar with it. Right? So what you're talking about though, it's just kind of coming out of sleep kind of mindfully and so is there are you listening to a meditation what exactly is the process for that? And then how do you how do you integrate that journaling practice along with that meditation practice?
Tawnia Converse 55:36
Great. So I discovered that I had to keep it as simple as possible to actually do it. So I have a little lap desk that stays next to my bed and my journal and my pens on my bedside table. I wake up in the morning, and I sit up in bed where I am put a pillow behind me and and that's my meditation space. I don't listen to anything to a guided meditation in the morning. I sit and I start with breath. Breath to me is kind of the it all starts with the breath. And so I slow and deep in my breath, and I just start to turn my attention inward. And like I said, some mornings what I observed is Wow, my brain is all over the place. I'm thinking a lot of thoughts already. I have only opened my eyes and sat up in bed and I am already thinking and that's neither good nor bad. It's just information for me. To carry forward into my day. I'm then noticing that I'm thinking a lot of thoughts today. I'm not terribly focused. Today might not be the best day to do some creative project or I might need to support myself a little bit more before I'm ready to have a difficult conversation or give a presentation or something that will require focus and clarity of speech and thought. But yes, it's as simple as just, I had to keep it simple. I tried all of the have a fancy meditation spot in my room and then as soon as I would get out of bed, the dog doesn't get out of bed, just to get up the memo and it just wants to happen. So I literally sit up in bed, and then my journaling practice is in the morning is just sort of stream of consciousness. It's incredibly useful in the mornings. Where my mind is very full and there is a lot of activity mental activity happening. First thing in the morning because I just let it all out on the page. If I am in a more if I wait in a more centered space like a quieter inner space, then I might offer myself a prompt to work with. So if there's a particular intention that I've been working with or if I know in the day that I planning to work with something that I might work with that I end my journaling practices with affirmations. Which affirmations I think are it's a practice in and of itself. Because writing down a bunch of things that you don't actually believe in words that make no sense to and do not resonate with you is I find it's a somewhat hollow practice and in a way it's like it's reinforcing lying to yourself. In a way and expecting yourself to believe it. So, for me, an effective affirmation practice is looking in the direction that I want to go right. So maybe it's working with an intention that I might be holding, kind of looking in that direction and saying what do I believe about that intention today? So sometimes it involves sometimes it is not “I am” right. I don't believe that I am beautiful, writing I am beautiful is not going to change that for me. But if I write for myself, I am learning to trust myself more. For instance, right? That's a topic we talked about quite a bit. I am willing to be curious about trusting myself more. I am on the journey of trusting myself. I trust myself in these ways and maybe give myself credit for the places that I do already trust myself. But it's a conversation that I essentially have with myself, but it gets it out of here. And it is a more embodied practice. I'm sorry, out of here, it gets it out of my mind. It runs it through my body and out my hands. Yeah. And in that way, there's a more embodied practice because we can think these thoughts to ourselves, which can be an incredibly valuable practice as well right to have a mantra or an intention that we are carrying with us throughout the day. And expressing by writing it out, is a way to kind of draw down from the mind, let it pass through the voice and the heart and come out with the hands, too. Because sometimes when you're faced with what you're actually thinking, in words in front of you, it can be it can be confronting. Yeah. And so insightful.
Ericka Thomas 1:00:48
I love that and so helpful to hear those things coming from you. Tawnia, really, really great. Speaking of what do you have coming up? Is there anything that you want to share today any ways that listeners can get in touch with you and learn more about Tawnia Converse?
Tawnia Converse 1:01:10
I would love to connect with anyone who would be interested. You can find me on Instagram at a social space all squished together. And I have I'm just developing this really wonderful guide that I'm super excited about and it is called The Sovereign Souls Guide to creating a daily spiritual practice. And it dovetails nicely and is informed by what we just talked about. My own experience of how a daily spiritual practice really supports me in moving through the world as my most authentic self and from a place of embodied voice. You can find it on my website at WWW.asoulfulspace.com and get the guide.
Ericka Thomas 1:02:05
awesome and those links are all going to be in the show notes. So people can go directly to the show notes at savage Grace coaching.com forward slash the work in and you will find all of the links that Tonya is sharing with us. Thank you so much Tanya. for joining us. This has been a fantastic conversation. I really appreciate you being here and sharing all of your wisdom.
Tawnia Converse 1:02:31
Thank you. It's been a joy. I really enjoyed the conversation.
Ericka Thomas 1:02:39
Thanks for listening, and if you like what you heard and you want to know a little bit more, head over to savage grace coaching.com For all of the show notes and I will see you next time on the work in thanks everybody.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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