Thought Leadership Boundaries
Transcript
Thought leadership requires clear thinking
As a seasoned fitness instructor and coach I have made a conscious effort to leave all politics including my personal political opinions at the door when I step in front of students. I set this boundary for myself from day one in my career. I began teaching in 1998 as you history buffs may remember just prior to 9-11 in 2001 there was the whole hanging chad controversy. I just felt at the time that I wanted my classrooms to be a protected space where you could show up and get a great workout without any obligation to anyone but yourself. A place where you didn’t feel like you had to defend yourself. Where you could leave the pressure of the culture outside the door for one beautiful sweaty hour. Shut off your brain and get into your body.
This is part of holding space. This is the ultimate skill as an instructor.
Setting boundaries is key. Those boundaries apply to you as the instructor and to your students and they serve to protect your entire class from things like judgment, unhealthy competition and unrealistic expectations.
Sex, religion, money and politics. Those are the taboo topics, right? I think there are some situations where in wellness coaching you may want to address sex, religion or spirituality and maybe even money. But for me politics has always been a third rail, a hard limit and here’s why.
No matter what I say, I’m going to offend and potentially alienate 50% of the room. If my job includes establishing a level of trust - a judgment free zone if you will - then that flies out the window as soon as I get on my soapbox.
So there are a lot of people in the wellness space that consider themselves to be “thought leaders” or aspire to be thought leaders. I cringe at that term. It is not my job as a fitness instructor or yoga teacher and certainly not as a trauma release coach to teach my students how or what to think…about anything. Not even about pure exercise science-y kind of things because even that changes as we learn new things. Even all the stuff we thought was “settled science” gets turned upside down from time to time by the body’s complexity.
So whenever there’s something really big in the news that crosses over the lines of body, politics, morality and science things can get pretty messy.
In the past it seems like we were more capable of having disagreements without losing our ever loving minds but these days it seems rare. I’m not sure why that is. I’d be interested to hear what you think about why that is. It feels like when I flip through the channels that rather than make compelling arguments for what they’re for,most people are more interested in taking a stand against (insert cause) personal attacks and logical fallacies.
I guess that makes sense in light of the default mode network and how we’re all wired to the negative. But do I want to create a setting where my students feel like they can attack me or anyone else verbally or otherwise? No, I do not.
I set the example for behavior in my classroom beyond simply leading movement. If I introduce political discourse during plank pose then I have to be willing to accept the consequences of opening that conversation. That is not something I am willing to do in my classes. So why would I do it online? Why would I do it in this podcast?
I don’t believe my political opinions are really anyone else's business. That is a hard line professional boundary IRL. I don’t think I’m alone in that but social media presents a different picture.
If you cross over between real life instruction and online business building you’re going to get some cognitive dissonance. As instructors we have a voice. We have a platform. And we have some kind of responsibility to cultivate that voice for ourselves and our students. Do we also have a responsibility to then project that voice into the world? To stand up for what we believe?
Famous people do it all the time. It’s actually annoying to me when I see a movie star or singer making some political statement or whatever the latest social call to action is. In my mean girl brain, I often think things like, “who do you think you are? Just because you’re a millionaire…or starred in that movie…why should I care what you think about anything.” It just makes me not want to buy their stuff anymore. (see what I mean about alienating 50% of the room?)
Everyone has a right to their own opinion. You, me, Tom cruise. Part of the beauty of living in the United States is that we are allowed to express our opinions freely. ( except on social media. On social media you will be fact checked for your misinformed opinions depending on the latest news cycle)
Last time on the podcast Tawnia Converse and I spent some time talking about finding your voice. I think a lot of that applies here. I want my voice to matter. I want to make a difference for my students. Part of elevating what you do as an instructor starts with your awareness of who you are and what you believe. You can't know that unless every once in a while you step back, take a beat and ask yourself that question. What is the truth here? What do I believe? And is what I believe true? Does that make it true for anyone else?
Here’s the thing. Just because we think a thought that doesn’t make it true. It could be, but there's no guarantee. And the real follow up question here is can you be ok with that.
That’s something one of my teachers encourages me to ask in Yin. “What is going on here?” and “Can you be with it?”
At the time of this recording it’s been a couple weeks since the Supreme Court struck down/ reversed Roe v Wade. And since then the floodgates have opened to a cacophony of voices - some in protest, from talking heads in mainstream media, cable news and all over social media from so called influencers to memes to the average facebook rant.
Personally I find myself stepping back from these controversies on public platforms because most of the time the loudest voices are speaking from a place of ignorance and it takes time for a true understanding of the situation to filter out. And for myself, it takes me time to peel back the layers of false equivalencies, emotional rhetoric and political deception to understand what the real issue is.
Honestly I don’t know that anyone really cares what I think about this. I’m pretty sure it isn’t going to sway anyone one way or another. But I am a woman. I may not be famous but I have been in a situation with an unplanned pregnancy so I think I can speak with a bit of authority on this subject.
Roe V. Wade, from my limited understanding has always been on shaky legal ground. It isn’t the Supreme Court's job to create law, constitutional or otherwise. So Roe was never “law of the land”. If you want it to be then actually pass a law. For the land - at the federal level.
Overturning Roe just put it back into the peoples hands at the state level. So get involved with your state’s political process. Stand FOR what you’re FOR.
Let me just address this idea of our rights as citizens of the United States. Who gives you your rights? The Constitution guarantees us rights in this country but I would argue that it doesn’t give them to us. That’s the whole point. We are born with rights as humans from day one. I guess part of the argument here is when is day one. That’s not part of my argument today.
We don’t want the government to be the one to give us rights. Why? Because then they can turn around and take them away. There is no right to abortion codified in the constitution. I would argue we don’t really want that. If you don’t want your government micromanaging your body then that applies to everything.
I’ve been hearing this term bodily autonomy a lot lately. I think it’s important that we think about what that means. Does it mean you can do whatever you want with your body, however you want to do it with no consequences? Because technically you could make a choice to use your body to murder someone. That’s bodily autonomy. This week there was another mass shooting at a 4th of July parade in Illinois where there are some of the strictest gun control laws in place. That shooter had bodily autonomy.
The feminist women like claim victimhood as reasoning for being proabortion. As someone who was faced with that choice I have a problem with the soft bigotry that is inherent in the assumptions that go along with that stance. As if simply being a woman makes me incapable of taking any personal responsibility for the actions necessary that prevent or lead to pregnancy.
I’m not talking about rape. According to Guttmacher Report .5% of Abortions are the result of rape.
I’m talking about toxic feminism. Yes, that's right. Just like toxic masculinity we also have toxic femininity and part of that is an underlying belief woven into our current culture that somehow as women or because we are women we are inherently victims of our physiology and therefore have no control over our bodies without the government stepping in and protecting us.
Frankly, it's offensive.
Way back in the stone age before cell phones and social media I spent my early college years dancing on the edge of the abyss of the blue church. I embraced pro choice because in my naivete I believed that meant actual choice. And so I found myself at feminist club meeting. There were only a couple of girls there and the “advisor”. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was curious about what it was about. That advisor proceeded to share this great news about the possibility of at home abortions. She showed these pictures of a kit that you could use in your bathroom at home to give yourself an abortion. It was creepy how excited she was about it and that she thought everyone else would be too. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough. That lady made my hair stand on end.
I was stunned. And really confused. Was this really what being a feminist was? Is that bodily autonomy?
I share that with you because it’s one of the stones in the path that brought me to this moment and how I understand what’s going on culturally in this country.
What I understand is that most of the voices don’t truly understand how this government works. You don’t get your way through intimidation and fear. You CAN do it by standing up and speaking out FOR whatever it is that you’re FOR. and convincing a majority to join you. If you believe that abortion is a right that every woman has then lobby for that in your community, in your state, where you have influence. Convince others that you’re right with valid substantive arguments. Get the votes.
If you believe in the right to life, then lobby FOR that - ALL life. Support life.
None of us want people from other states making decisions for us, for what’s right or wrong in our hometown, our doctors offices. The overturning of Roe gave that decision making power back to the people at the state level. So make your voice heard in a meaningful way. Instead of threatening the lives of Supreme Court justices, how about calling your state representatives, senators and congressmen. Start a petition, lobby or run for office. Campaign for someone who stands for what you stand for. Participate in the process. Exercise your voice and the freedom to speak your truth. This country will be all the better for it.
Setting your own professional boundaries around some of those taboo topics will allow you to be your most authentic self and still serve your students with integrity.
So that’s it. I broke my own rules. I will apologize for offending some of you. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. One thing’s for sure you heard my authentic self today. Sometimes it takes hearing, thinking and saying uncomfortable things to help clarify what you believe. Boundaries are important but it’s also a good thing not only to challenge others but also be challenged. It’s a 2 way street. That goes for everyone, not only coaches, instructors and teachers.
Like I say to all my student’s this work IN is yours. You can make it what you need it to be.
Thanks so much for listening if you like what you heard or you're looking for ways to set professional boundaries and hold space for your students head over to savagegracecoaching.com and pick up my free guide to holding space. It’s a simple effective way to elevate your skills as an instructor and coach.
Thanks everyone, I'll see you next time.
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