Raise the bar: Holding Space
Notes
Being a fitness instructor/coach is a vulnerable place to be. You step in front of a room of virtual strangers, in real life or online, and basically present yourself as an expert in something. At least that is the expectation that I have when I walk into a class. I expect the person standing up in front of me knows more than me at least in her format. And if I’m honest I am always looking to be challenged in some way. That's not always physically. In fact if the class seems like it’s not going to be physically challenging then I start to look for the mental challenges. There needs to be something. We talked about that in last week's episode about becoming the best of the best and how important it is to create opportunities for both challenge and success. You can go back and check that out.
On the instructor side you can’t know what is really going to be challenging for the people in front of you. Ideally everyone in the room would be very self aware and fully embodied and could be trusted to get what they needed out of any class no matter what. We know that is not normally the case for most people and we want to avoid making blanket assumptions about the people in our room.
When we are looking to raise the bar for both ourselves and our students we have to start somewhere. And today's work IN we’re going to get into the nitty gritty, boots on the ground for how to integrate gold standard instructor skills that are so simple but they’ll take your craft to the next level, make you more comfortable in your own skin and inoculate you against the dreaded imposter syndrome. These are things you can apply to pretty much any area of your life where you come into contact with other human beings.
That skill is holding space. What does that mean? Safety, Predictability, Agency, Communication, Energy
Creating safety: I’m not talking about the bullshit woke safe spaces I’m talking about offering enough structure via equipment, expectations, and rapport that the people in the room trust you as their guide for the next hour. This is where we can bring in subtle trauma informed skills like open doors, music levels, and personal space bubbles.
Challenge beats boredom every time. Raise the bar. Include the brain in your work out.
Predictability: Create patterns and repeat them. My teacher says through form there is freedom. Just like little kids and puppies need structure, adults like it too. Get creative.
Agency: This can be a little challenging because instructors are secretly control freaks but again we aren’t trying to create dependence. We want students to own and claim their own experience in our classes. So if you don’t normally encourage this it may take them time to get used to. Offer choices and permission to take them. They are the experts in their body, not you. Sometimes it takes a lot of encouragement for people to do something different from the rest of the room, especially in certain types of group formats. But I love to see it. And they will be better off in the long run. After all it is their workout, their practice they should be allowed to customize it for themselves.
Communication: Start with your intro. + brief what you can expect depending on if it’s a new class or a group that’s been with you a while, this is an opportunity to set the tone and establish trust and make any “just for today changes”
Explain format, structure of the class, how you like to teach. If there’s a theme or focus then share it. You’re all on this journey together.
A big part of this is cuing. Direct their awareness without prescribing what they “should feel” - it’s very common to dissociate during exercise. What you say and how you say it can keep folks in the room.
Most importantly use your authentic voice. If you’re a funny person, let yourself be funny. If you’re inspirational, be inspiring. I’m a pretty serious person with fiery energy. I make an effort to lighten the energy in the room with random fun facts and personal stories. Like the hamster soap opera when my kids were little, or stories about all the weirdos on RAGBRAI or the time the screaming goat jumped out of the bushes on a bike ride and scared the crap out of me.
Energy: Co-regulation- Your energy always influences the room. Their energy influences you. First become more aware of your own state and then you can play with ways you can influence theirs. Energize the room. Sometimes you have to bring ALL the energy. Sometimes they have some to share. Be ready to shift.You are there for them, they are not there for you. Leave all your personal baggage at the door. They want a good class. Give them your best.
What to do when people complain about what you do or how you do it? This is a tough one. Like I said earlier, being the one in the front of the room can be pretty vulnerable. You’re putting yourself in the arena. No one wants to dread a class because of that one sour puss in the back of the room.
I’ll say a couple things here about this. First again, people vote with their feet. If they really don’t like it they won’t come back. If they keep coming back then it’s not about you. Actually if we want to practice some radical honesty here, no one comes to your classes for you. They come for them. And so if they are complaining to you it’s often coming from a negative pattern of thinking that might be rooted in some kind of trauma response or simply the default mode network that we all have going on. That’s that survival wiring in the brain that always says no first and can drive some deep habit patterns for some people. That might look like questioning everything the instructor asks you to do. I had a student like that once. She wanted a full explanation for everything we did. It was annoying but it made me a better instructor. People do things like that when they’re looking for more safety. So what we need to do is provide more evidence of safety. And that’s what holding space does for our classes.
So if you don’t have it yet you can get a copy of my free guide to holding space at my website savagegracecoaching.com It has everything we talked about today plus some practical examples that you can use in your classes tonight. And while you’re there, be sure to get on the list for my next one day retreat in the Dayton Ohio area registration opens soon and you won’’t want to miss it!
Thanks everyone! I see you all next time on the Work IN
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