What I’d like to highlight in today’s episode has to do with how our hypervigilant state of protection prevents us from emotionally connecting and bonding with the people who we are trying to protect. Especially our kids but this also applies to pretty much any relationship.

I teach people how to hold space as part of trauma informed coaching and instruction. The purpose of holding space in that way is to create enough safety to calm the nervous system. Why would we want to do that? To find common ground, to be able to speak to each other from a place of bi directional tolerance and understanding, to be able to listen to each other, to be able to learn from one another. Notice I didn’t say to always agree with one another. I think it’s ok that we disagree sometimes. But I want to be very clear here. Being trauma informed and following these principles does not mean that you won’t trigger someone or that they won’t get offended. As an instructor or coach (or just a regular person) you can’t be held responsible for anyone else's emotions or experiences. That’s not what trauma informed means. In order to hold space for others and truly be trauma informed you need to create your own internal safe space that is stable and untouchable. A deep calm so that when things go sideways you know which way is up.

The real magic, the secret to any business success actually comes behind the scenes through the work you do on yourself to set the stage for your business. Without it you and your message can get lost in confusion and overwhelm.

There’s only one skill you need to master if you’re going to succeed in the fitness industry (or any industry really) and it has nothing to do with sets and reps, macros and calorie balance, alignment or movement modifications. You can be an expert in all those things but it means nothing if you can’t safely self regulate your nervous system. Wellness work is based on relationships. Physical, mental and emotional dysregulation is the fastest way to kill personal and professional relationships and guarantees burnout.