The only skill you need
“You are the ultimate influencer. If you want to build a long successful career in that industry and raise the bar for yourself and your colleagues, start by taking a deep dive into your own self regulation.” - Ericka Thomas
Transcript
There’s only one skill you need to master if you’re going to succeed in the fitness industry (or any industry really) and it has nothing to do with sets and reps, macros and calorie balance, alignment or movement modifications. You can be an expert in all those things but it means nothing if you can’t safely self regulate your nervous system. Wellness work is based on relationships. Physical, mental and emotional dysregulation is the fastest way to kill personal and professional relationships and guarantees burnout.
I’ve worked in many different fitness environments over the years as one does as an independent contractor. I’ve seen many coaches and instructors come and go. And I realize that I am very privileged to have been in a strong partnership with my husband and our finances are such that it has allowed me to stay in the fitness field for as long as I have. I think the number one reason for the high turnover in this industry is the pay or lack of it. It’s crazy to me that fitness and wellness providers want to require college and sometimes masters degrees and to hire trainers, pay them barely above minimum wage and then expect them to pay out of pocket for continuing education for specialized skills.
Fitness professionals can get caught up in learning the next, latest, greatest thing in the industry. Fitness fads come fast and furious and are just as fleeting. It really doesn’t matter what you teach though if you haven’t mastered safe self regulation. Self regulation is the key to coregulation with other people. In fitness or coaching you are always going to be with other people.
Coregulation as we’ve discussed in other episodes is how we as human beings influence other people and how they influence us. It might be verbally, or non verbal. Around here we call that a vibe. What’s the vibe that you are giving off? Now you might think you don’t have any control over that energetic Je ne sais quoi, but that’s not true. You don’t have control over what other people think or feel about it but you DO and can shift and change your own nervous system all day long.
Safe self regulation is a skill to master because if you don’t find a way to do it you will constantly be at the mercy of everyone else’s dysregulated energy. That’s a problem if you’re someone who stands in front of stressed out people 1 on 1 or in groups, hour after hour, who are coming to you to fix something for them, give them what they need or make them do something they wouldn’t otherwise do on their own. Now you might think that this is true for anyone who works with other people even outside the fitness industry… ding ding ding! You’re right! Gold star for you today. We get lots of overlap in our concepts here on The Work IN.
SO how do you learn this mysterious thing? What is it and how do you do it? When do you do it?
Self regulation is how your nervous system balances itself between the sympathetic side ( fight/flight/ activation/ survival challenge/excitement) and the parasympathetic side (rest/repair/calm/stillness) It is the ability of the nervous system to move you in and out of different states without getting stuck anywhere for too long (including the the freeze state of survival). It doesn’t mean you never get angry, or ragey. It doesn’t mean nothing bothers you either.
The safe part is important because everything affects the nervous system in some way and not all of those ways are safe or healthy for the body. For example, all drugs and alcohol are external chemical forms of self regulation. So is food. They change the body chemistry and the nervous system reacts. Simply taking ibuprofen for a headache will calm the nervous system.
If you think you can run around engaging with other people while your nervous system is in a hypervigilant, protective state and get away without them noticing, think again. I’ll give you a simple example. I was teaching 3 back to back classes and I had 15 minutes between each one and this particular day I had a wicked headache. Now I’m not someone who gets migraines but if I was this one was close. I had just finished a kickboxing class and I stepped into the office to try to get away for a minute. But one of my students followed me into the room to ask a question still talking as loud from class. As she was talking I felt like I couldn’t control my face and I could see her reacting to me. On the inside I just wanted to curl up and cry from this headache and those feelings were leaking out on my face. I could hardly pay attention to her. I really wanted to shut the door on her. I finally stopped her and apologized to her and told her. I’m sorry, I’ve got this headache that could kill a small dog. I’m not making faces at you… etc.
People come to us for guidance on how to move, what to eat, how to eat, what’s healthy and what’s not. They’re looking for those answers because they want to feel something different in their body. All of the answers to those questions will affect the nervous system in some way. That’s how we change how we feel, by influencing the regulation of the nervous system.
One of my biggest pet peeves with instructors is when they bring all their personal baggage into class. And this is why. When I see that happen I know that the instructor hasn’t done their work around self regulation. There’s a fine line between building rapport and over sharing, and possibly triggering your students by putting them in a state of protection. That’s why I talk about the ABC’s of resilience to help people who work with people in fitness and wellness start this process of learning safe self regulation so they can help their clients through safe coregulation.
If you haven’t heard the episode The ABC’s of resilience from season 2 episode 62 you can go back and check it out . The link will be in the show notes.
Here’s a little review
Awareness - knowing how and when your nervous system is getting activated. Literally knowing yourself. Who you are, what you stand for, why you do what you do, all of it.
Boundaries - setting them in ways that let you be in control of how you respond personally and professionally. Basically this is discovering what you need and then giving it to yourself. That’s what boundaries are. You have a right to them.
C- in episode 62 the C stood for career curation including cultivating meaningful skills In today's context it’s Connection - building, rebuilding or repairing trust with yourself, your body’s sensations so you can trust other people and strengthen those connections.
How do you know this is an area of concern for you? Well here are some things that came up for me. 1. I struggled to get good quality sleep. 2. I was sore all the time. 3. I developed severe gut dysfunction that disordered my eating patterns 4. I braced myself every Sunday night and before every class. 5. I caught myself holding my breath anytime I heard a text notification on my phone.
All of these alone and every once in a while aren’t a big deal. But what you need to understand about the nervous system is that it can take a lot. And so sometimes it takes alot from a lot of different directions over a long period of time for things to get bad enough for you to notice something is wrong. This is why you sometimes hear people say the body whispers until it screams. The ABC’s are a way to cultivate communication with the body and notice how it whispers before it has to scream. Screaming is never good.
There are many ways to access and influence the nervous system, to safely self regulate. You might be aware of some. I use TRE, yoga, tapping, breath work, power mantras, exercise, and meditation personally. But for me the best ones are the ones I can integrate whenever and wherever. That’s important because to rewire stress responses you need lots of repetitions in the moment. So integrating rolling recovery techniques throughout the day is more effective usually than 1 hour once a week. As is creating boundary setting rituals in anticipation of working with your class or client, or other stressful situation in order to protect your own energy. That could be an entire episode all on its own. For now let’s just focus on those ABC’s
These are the foundation for basic resilience. You’re already taking the first step in that process by listening to this today. Becoming more aware. And it is a process, a very personal one. Self regulation isn’t a skill you can get downloaded in a webinar. Like all worthwhile things you have to practice it. And like all things related to the body and the nervous system your experience will grow and evolve over time. And that’s a good thing. Where you are in your personal life will always affect your professional resilience, and vice versa. Humans are complex like that. And that’s the nature of the fitness industry.
You are the ultimate influencer. If you want to build a long successful career in that industry and raise the bar for yourself and your colleagues, start by taking a deep dive into your own self regulation. Give yourself the grace to learn how to work with your stress response so you recognize when you’re getting overwhelmed before it’s too late.
Thanks for listening! I hope this was helpful and clarified some of these things. And speaking of getting Clarity. If you’re a fitness or wellness professional or small business entrepreneur who’s at a career crossroads or on the starting block of business and feeling overwhelmed by possibilities and uncertain of the direction to take to reach your goals. I see you. Clarity Collaboration coaching is an exclusive program for female entrepreneurs looking for the deep foundational work for a fulfilling, profitable burnout proof business. It’s all the stuff I wish I’d known from the get go. I’ll help you establish your authentic voice and business backbone and create a rock solid money mindset, marketing vision and digital presence. With clarity coaching you can find ease in the effort as you create a dream career. Curious? YOu can learn more and book a call at savagegracecoaching.com/clarity I look forward to working with you!
Hey there!
I’m your host Ericka Thomas. I'm a resilience coach and fit-preneur offering an authentic, actionable realistic approach to personal and professional balance for coaches in any format.
Savage Grace Coaching is all about bringing resilience and burnout recovery. Especially for overwhelmed entrepreneurs, creators and coaches in the fitness industry.
Schedule a free consulttation call to see if my brand of actionable accountability is right for you and your business.