From Burnout to Recovery with Dr. Kate Steiner
Transcript
Dr. Kate Steiner 0:03
burnout is really characterized by three things beyond the fatigue, feeling emotionally drained feeling overwhelmed those pieces are part of burnout. But when you are waking up more days of the week than not, and you feel as though your work is unmanageable or that your work is a burden, or that you have lost the joy and passion that you previously had for your work. You're likely in a state of burnout.
Ericka Thomas 0:33
You're listening to the work in. I'm your host, Ericka Thomas, a certification collector and refugee from the body brand nation, sharing 25 years of experience in the fitness industry to recruit and support the next generation of fitness professionals, coaches, and wellness educators. Join me and raise the standard of professionalism in the industry, by bringing trauma sensitive training to the health conscious and health curious alike. Let's get started with today's work in.
Alright everyone, welcome back to the work in. I'm your host, Erica and I have a fantastic guest with us today. Her name is Dr. Kate Steiner and she is a burnout recovery coach and founder of lift Wellness Consulting she supports her clients to recover from burnout through building a self reflective plan that addresses all areas of wellness. She holds a Master of counseling and a PhD in counselor education and supervision, and her practice is grounded in the researched based Steiner self reflective sustainability and wellness model, which has been published in the Oracle Research Journal. She's been a researcher and wellness and burnout for almost 20 years, with some of her work being published in consumer, consumer outlets, including authority magazine Thrive global and my fitness pal, as well as industry publications essentials and perspectives magazine, and she's recently become her own podcast host with the podcast burnout to recovery with Dr. Kate, which you can listen to on transformation talk radio, and wherever you find your podcasts. I'm particularly interested in this topic with Dr. Kate because burnout is a silent killer of fitness and wellness, careers, and in my own experience, it was the driving force behind my own shift away from corporate fitness as an independent contractor to start my own wellness business as an entrepreneur. So let's start our work in today with Dr. Kate Steiner, Dr. Kate, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to join you today or.
Well I have so many questions for you. But before we dive in, I'd like you to share, if you would, a little bit more about yourself and your background because I'm really curious about what led you to this particular research fields.
Dr. Kate Steiner 3:15
Sure. So I have my, my career before I got into, into this space of burnout recovery was in higher education student affairs and I recently left that full time space this year to pursue burnout recovery coaching and consulting full time because I really saw a need for it, especially in this last year I've seen that need before but I really felt like, like something was just tugging at my heartstrings and my gut and telling me that I needed to be in this space supporting people full time in the capacity of their burnout recovery. But what really led me to this space and to be interested in researching burnout and wellness was my own experiences with burnout along the way so I would say that my first experience was when I was 22, and it was my first job after I got my bachelor's degree, I was working for an agency that I volunteered for a while I was a student that was working for them full time and running the shelter for victims and survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking, and no one taught me how to set boundaries, and I didn't understand the importance of having rituals to leave work at work, and how to start your day and get into that place and I burned out very quickly on that I just didn't know that what I was experiencing was burnout I didn't call it that I just, you know, thought I wasn't meant to be doing that work that I wasn't cut out for it because it couldn't handle, you know, the emotional toll that it was taking on me, and develop some unhealthy coping skills along with that. And so my solution at that point in time was, I'll go back to school so that's when I went back and got my master's degree in counseling and specifically student affairs and college counseling and got into the world of higher education where you know every few years I would have that same experience of questioning and asking if I was in the right place was I doing the right thing, I no longer felt passionate or joy, about the job, really not, not realizing that what I was experiencing was burnout and when I got into my Ph D program i Little learned a little bit more about burnout, but I still wasn't in a place where I could name it for myself. And about eight years ago that changed, and had a really significant episode of burnout, where it just, it felt as though everything in my life was just going chaotic, and it was spinning out of control, and I became looking back I really refer to it being in a space of I became the worst version of myself.
And once I named that and called it what it was that I was completely burned out on school on the relationship I was in at the time on my job, and then sought professional help, but for me that was a professional counselor at the time to get me back into a space of recovery. and then I realized that I wanted to do a lot more with that space. Mainly I wanted to remove the shame of burnout, that people experience so that they could name it and then recover from it so that's what I am working for and striving and is a huge purpose for me today that I resonated so much with almost everything that you said, and I mean we're gonna go into a little bit about what burnout, actually is. But as I was listening to your story.
Ericka Thomas 6:57
I'm, I'm curious, is burnout, kind of, something that happens to everyone is it just a natural ebb and flow, or is it something that we can completely avoid.
Dr. Kate Steiner 7:11
Yeah, I, I believe, and in my own experience and in the research that I've done and the clients that I've worked with that burnout is something that we all experience, I believe that it is a part of our human condition, that it is a part of our human experience and that it is a part of the ebb and flow that we experience within life. I don't believe that it's something we can completely avoid. I do think that we can implement better strategies to be more resilient to it so it doesn't, you know, throw us so off kilter, when we are experiencing it, that we have a really challenging time getting back into a space of recovery.
Ericka Thomas 7:50
So let's talk about the definition of burnout.
So in your story, you talked about trying to name burnout for yourself. And as I was listening to that. There were times when I would say, in my own experience that I felt the same way as you described, but I would not have described it as burnout, right. So, what exactly is it, And is there a clinical definition. And is it the same for everyone, what's going on.
Dr. Kate Steiner 8:28
Sure. So the model that I developed explains burnout in a couple of different ways there are, it's almost on a spectrum but there are what I call burn events and burn events are every day, weekly, they are circumstances, activities, difficult humans interactions that we have things that bring us to feeling fatigued, emotionally drained or overwhelmed.
And like I said these are somewhat daily, daily occurrences so what happens is, we can, we can identify these burn events there are identified, burn events, those that we can expect so we can actually look at our calendar and say, oh that's going to be a really heavy week for me. I have a lot of things going on or I have a meeting that I have a lot of preparation, the things that I need to get together for Oh, or I have high interaction with this human that I find challenging to be around, and those kinds of things so we can expect when that's coming prepare for it in a bit of a different way. There are also unexpected burn events so these are the things that could a sideways and maybe throw our day off kilter, so it might be, you know, supervisor comes in and there's a surprise meeting or you all of a sudden have to stay late because of you know, some kind of work crisis or something to that effect or you have to come in and work on something in the weekend because, you know, maybe someone else made a mistake and now you're having to work on, you know remedying that from your end, those kinds of things. So those are the unexpected events that the key to the burn events is that once you are able to define them and know when they're coming for the most part, at least those expected burn events. You can prepare for them differently and then you can also have planned recovery for them. When we don't continuously recover from these burn events, what they do is compound upon each other, they create almost a snowball effect and that's what leads us into the experience of more full on burnout and burnout is really characterized by three things beyond the fatigue, feeling emotionally drained feeling overwhelmed, those pieces are part of burnout. but when you are waking up more days of the week than not, and you feel as though your work is unmanageable.
Or that your work is a burden, or that you have lost the joy and passion that you previously had for your work. you're likely in a state of burnout,
Ericka Thomas 11:07
That is. That's fascinating. Okay so I've never heard the term burn event. But as you're describing that. It sounds like every day chronic stress that reaches a toxic level, and, and that we talk about all the time in the in the trauma, sensitive, trauma informed, you know stress relief kind of world, right. Yeah, but when you put it like that. When you think of it like an event like this is a burn event.
It's a very easy way to define it like I can recognize specifically, okay, this is definitely a burn event and it separates stressful things like things that rise to the level of negative stress.
It separates them from, you know, every day, kind of positive stress events, yeah, which I think people can get confused, I think in general, people think all stress is bad but it isn't. So now we have a way to differentiate, you know, something that is activating and challenging and good and feels good to differentiate that from something that is a, a, something that's going to be very negative this burn event.
Okay, so I think that's amazing. I feel like, like the light bulb just came on.
That's great. Okay, so how do you help people recognize what is a burn event, and, as opposed to, you know, this is just their life, you know, this is just their normal.
Dr. Kate Steiner 13:03
Yeah, and some things might be, you know, it may become a burn event and has been a normal occurrence in those kinds of things I mean I, you know for some people, a family gathering, can be a burn event because it does drain them and they just need to think about how do I recover from this in a different way, it can also be something that they enjoy doing, but they know is going to be a drain on their energy so for, For some people, they might really like socializing and networking, but because they're, they're more introverted. They know that that's going to be a drain on their energy level and so they want to have a plan recovery process for when they are finished with that social engagement so that they can kind of revamped our energy and that's an important piece I think when it comes to the daily recovery process is having ways that specific ways that you as an individual reenergized yourself either at the end of the day or to start your day. In order to kind of have that consistent recovery or it may be something that you do for yourself at the end of the week or at the end of the month or at the end of a quarter. If that's a busy time, so having these planned, times out for specifically for recovery is an important piece in, in kind of that process. The other phases that are a part of my model are observation. And so that's the first phase and this is where we're you know, we're really working to identify what are those upcoming expected burn events, Looking at our calendar and assessing when are going to be some heavier times that we need to prepare for differently and preparation is the second phase, but when we are thinking about that observation phase we also want to think about, what, what do I experience when I am when I have just maybe come out of a burn event or think I'm experiencing burnout, what, what does that look like for me physically what happens to to me in that emotional sense. How do I react to other people, do I notice people reacting to me and a different way when I'm in that space, and really, whether it's verbalizing that or journaling about that but finding some way to reflect on those pieces because once we recognize what we experienced when we're feeling burnout, that helps us identify it more quickly, so we can move into that recovery phase much faster. So, preparation, one for expected burn events we want to think about how are we going into enter into those burn events that we know are coming in a different way. Do we need to think about how, how we're eating that week a little bit differently. Do we need to change our water intake, do we need to think about how we're sleeping in our sleep cycle, you know, how are we going to be finding movement within our body during that time. And the big key to expected burn events is having preparing by having planned recovery immediately following the burn event you want to have that already scheduled for yourself and have a plan on what you're going to do to bring about your recovery. And then the third phase is recovery and there are lots of different ways that people recover so that they regain that sense of balance and regained energy and regained focus.
Ericka Thomas 16:36
Yeah, that is, that is, that's really, really amazing, actually. I loved everything about what you just said. And what I'm curious about here, I'd like to ask you about setting boundaries, and how that relates to, you know this preparation for potential burn events, you know, this is new language for a lot of people that idea that there's something that is a burn event, but I've heard, and many people have, like, we need to set better boundaries. So how are those two things related?
Dr. Kate Steiner 17:16
I'm so glad you asked this question they are completely related so one of the pieces when it comes to boundaries is. So in that observation phase, it's important to also reflect on what you need from other people. During that time of a burn event, or when you are in recovery from our burn event and especially the people that are closest around us, because we have to communicate our expectations to them. So it's one thing to, to define what you need and know that you need to establish that as a boundary but it doesn't become a boundary until you actually communicate it to other people. Otherwise it's just, you know it's it's it's going to be an unmet expectation, because they have no idea that that's how you want to be treated.
And so once you communicate that out to the people around you and let them know, Hey, this is my boundary, this is what I need. You are teaching them how you expect to be treated.
And that's what creates that boundaries space and so that's an incredibly important part, both within observation, and within that preparation piece that you are communicating to people around you, what you need in that space and some of the things that you might want to consider when it comes to boundaries I call them our non negotiables, so what are non negotiable needs that you have that help you be your best self, day in day out. So an example of that in my life is after, after I've had a long work Dave, I'm generally an extroverted person but if I have been working with humans, all day long. I need some time and space to not be around humans when I finished my work day. And that was an expectation that I needed to communicate to my partner. And, you know, as my husband, let him know that I needed probably about 20 minutes, when I, you know, either end my workday or get home from working to just decompress and that decompression needs to happen by myself. I'm probably going to put on some music, have a dance party.
And then when that time and space is up, I'll be ready for a conversation. So understanding what you need as a non negotiable that is going to aid you in your recovery is a really important reflection.
Ericka Thomas 19:52
Yeah, it sounds like that could be a really challenging thing to start to do if you've spent your whole entire life, not doing that, yes, and not just not doing that but never having been taught that it was okay to do that, to be able to set those boundaries. So what are some ways to start, how do people begin that process of, you know, establishing their own recovery tools.
Dr. Kate Steiner 20:32
So one thing that I think is important and probably one of the biggest things that I work with people on is reframing our thoughts around setting boundaries in that it is, this is not a selfish act, this is establishing boundaries, it's an act of care, because you are letting people know how you want to be treated. And for the most part, us as humans like we want to treat others and how they want to be treated. We want to offer respect and care and help to others. And so by communicating that out and letting other people know what you need to feel cared for, is actually an act of love.
Because then that person doesn't have to guess at what you need. They know you've told them so I think that that reframe is an incredibly important starting point.
Ericka Thomas 21:27
Yeah, and an act of love, not just for yourself but for the other person as well. Right, yes.
Yeah. Okay, so when we're talking about being in this state of burnout and taking some action around that to prepare for recovery after these burnout events that we are that we are, you know, observing. A lot of what I heard you talk about were physical wellness practices that probably a lot of us should be paying attention to on a regular basis anyway, but we don't.
Because we put ourselves at a very, like, really low on that priority list. But I heard you say things like getting better sleep this week, and looking at how well we're eating for this particular week, or on this particular day. And so can you talk a little bit about kind of that overlap with our nervous system health, our, our mental health and wellness, and then our physical health and wellness, and where those intersect.
Dr. Kate Steiner 22:47
So I really work in in six aspects of wellness in in how we come together so there's certainly the physical aspect of our wellness there is our social wellness so how we are interacting with other humans. There is our intellectual wellness. So how are we growing and expanding our minds are mental or emotional wellness. So how are we incorporating our feelings in as beings, how are we expressing those feelings to others are we expressing those feelings to others, can all be important piece. There's also our financial wellness, which is an important piece that we don't necessarily think about a lot, but our relationship to money does impact our ability to feel safe, which is an important aspect of our wellness and then there's our spiritual wellness. So how are we connecting to something that is greater than ourselves and we all do that a little bit differently but I think the important piece is that none of these things, functions alone, they all impact each other. So when I am doing something that is beneficial for my physical wellness, I am also engaging in generally my intellectual wellness, probably my spiritual practice depending on what kind of, you know if it's an exercise, maybe it's yoga so I'm also connected to my breath and those kinds of things so that impacts my spiritual wellness, it also engages in my, you know, emotional wellness, because I just feel better, so I'm engaging in those, you know those endorphins are starting to hit my body and that helps me to feel better in that mental space. So, these all kind of come together, it might also impact social wellness because I'm around other people. So thinking about how our activities actually hit multiple areas of wellness. I think it's an important piece for people to keep in mind because it's not, it's not just one, we're not just impacting one area of our life when we make these, these different choices. Yeah and we want to be a whole person. Right, we're not just our mind, we're not just our body, all of those things. Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, that's fantastic. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so when we're talking about applying some of these recovery activities or tools I call it a toolkit right you need a toolkit of things to to do, where do we start with that, I mean how, how can we start to put together our own kind of toolkit to respond in our own our own life experience. Absolutely. So, what, what you're describing in those videos what I call, you know, defining your recovery formula. So, what are things that you need to put in place that help equal recovery for yourself in the first place that I have people start is defining and writing out your comfort list. So your comfort list is a list of activities, people, pets, songs, food, movies, you know, activities that immediately bring you a sense of comfort, calm, peace, that sense of balance in your life and you want to have a pretty thorough list of things that you can, from small things to bigger activities that you can use as part of your recovery practice so for example some of the things that are on my comfort list include macaroni and cheese, and it is actually my number one comfort item, like there is nothing that rises above mac and cheese, including my husband and he is, he is keenly aware of that, but if he, if he comes into the room with mac and cheese and gives me a hug. It's like a highlight day for recovery that we've we've hit all of the spots for the recovery formula that day for me. But it also includes things like the Hallmark channel and watching Hallmark movies and so I may spend a day doing that for my recovery time in my hammock during the summer is incredibly important for me I know that I need to connect to water, whether it be ocean or lake or something, at least a few times a year.
I need to be able to connect to the nature, and in that aspect actually be in a body of water so that is a part of my comfort list, but it's really important that we think about it from that lens of comfort.
Because we so often, that's, that's where we help, and the stress cycle that the burn event enacts for us, so we want to think about what brings us comfort, calm, and that sense of peace.
Ericka Thomas 27:41
Yeah and it seems like, okay, these are going to be all things that are very personal to you. Yes. And they are tapping into this opposite, that is creating ballance for the stress system. So, what looks like recovery for you may not look like recovery for me. Exactly. So how important is it. Or maybe it's better to say what role does this, the actual action or agency of taking action to recover from a burn event, what does that role, what role does that play in the actual recovery? Because I know that you know sometimes just doing something can make you feel so much better.
Dr. Kate Steiner 28:36
So, yeah, no, and that is that is actually a key piece, whatever it is that whatever that activity is whatever you know some people refer to it as self care. Some people refer to it as recovery those contains whatever, I call it the comfort list, whatever that thing is sometimes just thinking about it can help us stop the stress cycle I know that I can, I can stop my own stress cycle by simply daydreaming about an upcoming vacation or a vacation that I would like to take, and that can actually bring a sense of calm for me so sometimes it's an acting this thought but then in acting the doing and taking that one small step so let's say you have a small something on your comfort list is his bike my mac and cheese.
Just making, you know, a box of mac and cheese, helps me start to feel that sense of calm and those kinds of things so that that action piece is really important for for the recovery process but we can get some benefit from thinking about our recovery as well. Yeah, the brain is very, very powerful.
If you can give yourself some time to meditate and think about that upcoming future vacation that dream vacation, your body will will react as though you're lying right there on the beach.
Ericka Thomas 30:03
And once you have established, you know your comfort list and kind of figured out through observation, what you're, you know predicted burn events may be the practice of moving through those moments, and then back into recovery back and forth. Often, like, just in the course of your day and of course if your week in the course of your month that builds that is really where we build resilience and the stress response right
Dr. Kate Steiner 30:37
yes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah and almost really when you start to create it so. So the three phases don't. Sometimes they're happening all three at the same time you are observing upcoming and expected burn events at the same time that you are in preparation for the burn events that are happening in that moment at the same time that you are recovering in those moments and when you start to build a habit and the routines and rituals around your recovery practice and into observation and preparation, it becomes kind of a seamless seamless cycle and the more that we practice this, the more resilient we become to really those unexpected burn events the things that hit us from the sideways and can catch us off guard.
And then once we have a recovery practice like anything else that we continues to practice and practice and practice, it becomes easier it becomes that it becomes that, you know, unconscious habit, almost you almost you enact recovery before you're even thinking about I need to recover.
Ericka Thomas 31:48
Right. And when we're talking about the stress response so that's really important because the reaction of your nervous system happens before you can think about it. So that's why this plays such an important role this practice is repetition, because we're replacing habitual responses, and the only way to do that yeah, the only way to do that is just to keep replacing those responses until finally they become the new responses, the one that you want, right, and so, yeah, yeah, that's great. So, I'm interested in this idea of bringing more play into our lives.
Dr. Kate Steiner 32:30
Yeah, so I also along with your comfort list. The other thing that I recommend everyone has as part of their recovery process is play. And so people can confuse play they're like oh, are you saying that I have to go to like a park and play on a playground or anything to that effect. No, I just want you to have a sense of fun carefree fun, that is not time bound that opens up your creativity and expression. We often forget how beneficial plays as adults, and it is plays actually the number one way that children's learn, but it actually carries over into how we learn as adults as well. So play helps us be more creative, it helps us be better problem solvers, it helps us have more fun and engagement. So my number one way of play is a dance party.
Dr. Kate Steiner 33:29
And it's as simple as you know, turning on any song that I would like to move my body to, and you know dancing out through that entire song now I also dancing grocery store aisles so that's not for everyone, but I encourage you if you see a human dancing through a grocery store aisle, you don't have to join them but you should smile because that is a person who is enjoying their life and having fun. And so, just kind of laughter humor anything that engages us. I'm also a big fan of starting the fake laugh until it becomes a real laugh is a great way to implement some play into your life, and it just helps you relieve some stress,
Interesting, you know that there is something called laugh, yoga, yes, that is laugh yoga.
Dr. Kate Steiner 34:24
That's that I will be like I do you know what I'm having a low vibe day, I'm not feeling it today I am in a cranky mood, and the other things I've tried I've not gotten me out of it so I'm just going to start laughing until it becomes a real laugh.
Ericka Thomas 34:39
And it's so interesting that so many of the recovery things that we do are really based and and grounded in the body, like there's some action that the body has to take laughing is a great example because we are actually connecting with the diaphragm, that, that big belly laugh, And it's secretly a breathing technique will help your breathing.
Absolutely. So how is play different than, you know just chillin on the couch or binge watching Netflix.
Dr. Kate Steiner 35:25
Yeah, I think, you know I think play is. And I would say that they both have their benefits both can be a recovery process right so I also will will do, you know bingeing and or watching, you know, reality TV is another one of the things that is on my comfort list so that so they both have their places, I think play is is more more action oriented in that regard I think when we're when we're watching a video or a movie or Netflix or something to that effect, that is a relaxation that occurs by almost tuning out a little bit or like bringing, bringing our, our energy level down or, you know, kind of, you know, just getting into the mindset of another person, and escaping our life for a little bit, play, I think, is, is a little more active in that you are actually engaged in the activity with everyone else. So, as opposed to watching the movie occur you know maybe you are having, you know, doing improv with friends or having a conversation, and you know, making up jokes or stories or tapping you know storytelling with others, and that would be the difference in that you are an active player, When it comes to play. As opposed to, you know, relaxing by watching.
Ericka Thomas 36:58
Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. So, can you share some things that the audience can do really quickly to address any kind of feelings of overwhelm or stress like in the moment that we can interrupt a stress response, real time.
Dr. Kate Steiner 37:18
Yeah, absolutely. So the go to when it comes to interrupting that stress response in real time is, is implementing a grounding exercise and again, this is a, it's important that we stay within our physical body because that is where our brain is our brain is in the physical body, it is not a logical thinker when we are experiencing stress at that point in time, it is only thinking about really like keeping us alive. So breathing those kind of things so you want to focus on grounding yourself into your body, and one of my favorite grounding exercises, is the 54321 method. And so, you use the space around you but you start with a deep breath. So, into your nose and out through your mouth. And then using your five senses you Name five things you can see four things you can touch, three things you can hear two things that you can smell, and one thing that you can taste. And you can kind of cycle through that a couple of times until you start to feel your heart rate come back down lower, a little bit your breathing, ease a little bit and feel a little more centered in your space around you and I always end that with a deep, another deep breath. Also just getting into your breath can be a great way of doing that I like to use Box breathing. To do that, so for for the audience box breathing is a method where you inhale for four counts, you hold for four counts you exhale for four counts and then you hold again for four counts. And you do that on a cycle eight to 10 times, and then end with that deep cleansing breath again it brings you into your breath into your body, so that it enacts a sense of safety, and then your brain is able to come back to your frontal cortex so you can become a logical thinker again.
Ericka Thomas 39:22
Yeah, those are those are great, those are great tips that 54321 I haven't thought about that in a long time, that's, that's a good one, and we do box breathing a lot around here so it's good. That is great. That is great. Well, this has been a fantastic conversation, Dr. Kate, I really have enjoyed every minute of it. And there's just so much great information that you shared today, if people wanted to learn more about you, maybe get in touch with you, how would they find you.
Dr. Kate Steiner 39:58
Yeah, so I am at Dr. Kate Steiner on all the social media platforms. And you can also find me on my website which is www dot lift wellness consulting.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
I’m Ericka
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