Mindset madness: Shameless self promotion
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Shakti Encounter Day retreat
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Shout it from the roof tops!
Transcript
Do you need a coach or a therapist?
Shameless self promotion - Why is it so hard to promote yourself, good girl syndrome, imposter syndrome and the ultimate question. Do you need a coach? Or a therapist?
We don’t think twice when we see ads on television, or hear them on our favorite podcast or even Facebook. If we don’t want to see them or don’t like the product we simply skip over them, fast forward or go get a snack. There’s no judgment of those companies and businesses that are using those platforms to sell their products. No one thinks “geeze Procter and gamble is so conceited, they can’t stop talking about tide pods.” No, we just enjoy tide pods. And sometimes I even feel really grateful when FB sends me an ad for something that’s right up my alley. Like the ads for the Vintage Market coming up in my area. That’s something I love to attend but wouldn’t necessarily know about.
For some reason there’s a cultural archetype of sales people that they are in some way sleazy, or duplicitous and manipulative. That in order to sell something you need to trick people into buying it. And it’s even worse if you’re selling a service in the wellness industry.
Today I’d like to explore some of the reasons why women in the fitness and wellness space have such a hard time marketing and promoting themselves and how to reframe your thinking and break out of the “shame” of self promotion to step into the spotlight.
For most of my life I’ve had this weird push me pull you thing going on where I would plan to do a thing with all the excitement and creativity I could bring and then hope no one would come or literally not invite anyone. Or invite a bunch of people and then have nightmares that no one would leave. This actually happened after my 16th birthday party. It was a terrible dream.
I'm not sure if that means I’m an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert, but whatever it is it’s rooted in some deeply rooted mixed messages around success, money and work that I got growing up.
Now before we go into some of this I want to say thank you to my parents for raising me with a certain level of fearlessness. Without it we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. And no matter how great or terrible your family life was, I believe that every single one of us carries some heavy baggage away from it. Some of that baggage is expected and some unexpected but all of it shows up in the form of patterns of behavior and choices we make that are designed to keep us safe in the world as we understand it.
How we’re raised shapes how we understand the world. But that understanding of the world may not still hold true. Because the way the world was when you were a kid isn’t the way it is now. And you aren’t a kid anymore. As a kid your parents made choices for you based on their understanding of the world and that influenced your understanding of it. Your job as an adult is to open your eyes and decide what your understanding is today. If what you once knew, is still true.
Why are we talking about this? Because when it comes to marketing yourself and self promotion the biggest demons for women in business are fear and shame and those come straight out of our past.
Why else would so many highly successful women with PhD’s Masters degrees, decades of experience in wellness create programs, courses, classes, retreats, podcasts etc. only to resist promoting them or even talking about them and wonder why no one signs up?
What we’re talking about is marketing. Every business does it if they’re going to be successful. The thing is female solopreneurs in the fitness and wellness space sometimes can’t wrap their head around the fact that they are a business. I know I couldn’t.In fact for the first 2 decades of my fitness career Idid everything in my power to not act like I was a business. I purposely stayed an independent contractor not understanding that as an IC I was actually operating as a business. I mistakenly believed that because I didn’t employ anyone but myself that meant I didn’t have to treat myself as one. And actually you don’t have to. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to of course. And many fit pros don’t. For some it’s because they do what they do as a hobby for some “fun money” or extra pocket change. I never looked at my fitness career that way though. I was pretty serious about presenting myself as a fitness professional to my students, clients and the accounts that hired me. I just never saw myself as a business or “doing” business and therefore when I did get serious about my career as a business I realized I had missed out on a lot of growth and success because of a lack of marketing and self promotion.
Why? Because I was raised to be humble, to NOT talk about myself too much because that’s conceited or arrogant, to not “brag” about what I do well. But when what you do is literally linked to who you are, the way it is in the fitness world, that is not going to help you or your business.
What I found when I started to scale into the virtual fitness space is that there is a heavy emphasis on social media marketing with a big side of active self promotion and if you can’t talk about yourself and what you do with integrity and authenticity, you ARE going to come across at best as unsure or unqualified and at worst manipulative.
There’s a belief in online business and wellness that in order to really promote yourself you must use social media. You’ve seen the accounts. The video workouts and pretzel yoginis. Look, I know that stuff looks great. Super high production value. And it seems like thousands and millions of followers should translate into big money for your business. But there’s no direct correlation between social media followers and conversions. (follower into paying client) And if you’re not careful spending too much time in that virtual world will take you away from the real people that you want to serve.
Social media is a minefield of tribalism, trolls and click bait. It's hard to know how to just be you without all the dancing and pointing. Now there are other ways to market yourself to be sure. If you want to limit or get out of the virtual space or if you feel like you don’t need it at all, there are ways to market yourself that may seem old school but might feel better. Simply put up some flyers, offer to do lunch and learn at local business, visit your local chamber of commerce.
The thing is it doesn’t matter what the vehicle is for your marketing if you can’t talk about yourself, who you are, what sets you apart and what makes what you do so great, it doesn’t really matter.
What I came up against with Facebook after I finally got my head straight about what I wanted to say and felt good about it I created ads to talk about trauma release exercise as a way to relieve tension, stress and anxiety - using those words exactly, the ad was denied for violating community standards. (apparently recognizing common mental health issues is triggering and divisive. It’s no wonder there’s a mental health epidemic. No one has enough backbone to talk about it.) So instead of using the real description of what I do with correct terminology, any ad copy had to cleverly skirt around any mental health benefits. So much so that the meaning became unclear and therefore useless as an ad. Super frustrating when you just want to be straightforward with your communication. It’s a waste of money if you can’t be, in my opinion.
Honestly it's hard enough to embrace this new way of thinking without having to taylor it to fit the group think on social media.
So here’s what clicked for me when I ran up against this fear of telling people what I do and why they need it. I realized that I was making decisions for them based on what I thought they needed or wanted. I was taking away their chance and their choice by keeping my mouth shut. I realized that I am not my client. I am a guide and that’s it. And somebody might need to hear what I have to say. But if I don’t say it I’m robbing them of the opportunity to have access to something that might change their life. And it’s not within my power to guess who those folks are. That’s why I (or you) need to tell everyone about it. Because it’s not about me (or you) and it never was. If you’re selling any product or service in any industry, it’s always always always about them.
Did I need a therapist to figure that out? Maybe if I cared why I had that mindset block and wanted to wallow in the mud pit of my past. I actually spent a lot of money on a business coach outside of my group coaching program who was also a therapist because I was feeling so many feelings associated with my business. (this is audio only podcast and so you can’t see how hard my eyes are rolling when I say that) It did not do what I hoped it would do for me. I didn’t need someone to hold my hand, I needed someone to give me a swift kick in the butt to get me moving. What I learned from that experience is that if you think you need therapy, go get therapy. If you want help in business, get a business coach. They’re not the same thing even when we’re talking about mindset. And for god’s sake, make sure they are ahead of you in some way.
So let’s practice a little completely shameless self promotion.
My first one day yoga retreat is scheduled for November 12 at the Aberlin Springs Chalet! I’ve been practicing and studying the connections between yoga and the nervous system for over 2 decades and I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to offer one of these but
I’m so excited to introduce you to the mind body energy connection through the chakras. The overlap between what we know of the east and what we’re learning in the west is fascinating. We’ll learn the basics of the chakra system and how it relates to overall physical, mental and emotional energy, how trauma and stress contributes to imbalances, how they show up in the body and how to use chakra balancing techniques to help heal and so much more.
Again this is a one day retreat. It goes from 9 am - 5 pm and includes a farm to table lunch, by Rebecca Denney of the Modern Farmhouse Kitchen. Your experience includes 2- 90 minute yoga practices rooted in the chakras, a chakra journal and a personalized chakra balancing kit made up of crystal infused essential oils, pendant and guide. Plus enjoy time to reflect, community connection and guided chakra meditations.
Our venue is a hidden little gem of a community tucked away in the farmland of Ohio located between Dayton, Columbus and Cincinnati and easily accessible from all three.
If you're looking for a way to deepen your yoga practice, tap into a deeper well of energy or simply treat yourself before the holidays kick into high gear, You’ll come away feeling calm, connected and recharged! It’s going to be a lot of fun and I’d love to meet you! If you know someone who could use a day off to literally recharge their batteries be sure to share this with them. You never know, someone might need to hear it.
The investment in dollars is super affordable just 197$ but the investment in yourself is priceless. You can learn more and sign up on the website at savagegracecoaching.com/shaktiencounter and that link will be in our show notes.
See that wasn’t so hard!
Thanks for joining me for this week's Work IN. Be sure to download all our episodes because next week we are going to have a very special guest! Sandy Connery of Hey Marvelous will be joining us to officially demystify all things mindset with a special emphasis on Money mindset. It’s going to be fantastic! If you like what you heard today and are curious to see some of these things in action you can follow me on Instagram at @realsavagegrace or on Facebook @savagegracecoaching And I would be forever grateful if you would give The Work IN a like and share or a 5 star review on Apple or spotify. You can find links to everything we talk about on this podcast in the show notes and the easiest way to get to those is to visit savagegracecoaching.com/theworkin
Thanks everyone and I’ll see you next time!
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